Well, I'm officially confused
by rachelnn
Summary: Breaking Dawn timeline-The whole world seemed to stop at that moment,all I wanted to do was hold him,but here I was standing dumbstruck with this stupid banana! Lily is a little conflicted these days, teenage girls and shape-shifting doesn't mix. Seth/OC
1. Mr Uley is an idiot

It's hard to say _when_ it started, the exact day, the precise time. None of that ever really became quite clear until I realized how I felt. The feelings snuck up on me because I denied them for so long, they are strong, passionate, terrifying. It was the feeling of my heart beating in my chest when I saw him, the pounding of my heart in my ears when he stood close and the fact that I forgot to breath when he was looking me in the eye. He on the other hand was clueless, or so I hope he was. I mean what would you think if your best friend since you were five all the sudden told you she was in love with you? That she was crazy? Desperate? Lonely?

He walked around not knowing when he threw me that coy smile I almost fainted every time, not knowing that when he'd give me a hug goodbye I always wished it would last a little longer, or that I had a replay button to live it over, and over again. Then again what chance did I really have? He was Jacob Black and I was Lily Sioux childhood best friend, the girl friend that was never THE girlfriend, his own personal cock-block and shoulder to cry on. Yep that's me, sucks doesn't it?

* * *

"Did you take the garbage out yet? I told you to do that before I left! Lily!?"

I raise my head looking at my dark-haired mother over the top of the couch. It's hard to believe that even though it's just the two of us the only thing she can think of doing is pester me about work she could easily do herself. I mean seriously that women needs a hobby, or a boyfriend.

"How come I have to take it out? You're closer"

"And you're 17, do your chores" she finalizes with a final raise of her eyebrow and stumbling for her bedroom. I don't see why she was so bitter, she went to the Cullen-Swan wedding with Billy Black and Sue Clearwater and came back stomping around like a toddler, well stomping the best one could after too much wine. Honestly that women had more moods then someone with multiple personality disorder. Then again if I was forced to be around Edward Cullen and Bella Swan I'd want to get drunk and forget the experience as well. Stupid Bella Swan and her ping-pong love someone needs to tell that girl to make up her freaking mind already, even though I guess since she married the pale Cullen guy she did. She couldn't have Jake anyways, he was my Jacob and I wasn't in the mood to share with her anymore or listen to him wallow. But, it's hard to do either of those things when said boy had run off a few weeks ago. I literally couldn't wait to kick his ass.

"LILY!"

"FINE!" I yell back rolling off the couch and onto my stomach, stupid rotten Nazi mother, slave driver. The house we lived in was small, one of the smaller ones on the La Push reserve. We only had the one floor, with two large bedrooms, a bathroom, eat-in kitchen and a living room. That was all we needed since it's always just been the two of us. Our living room had a large window that covered most of the room making a nice sun room feel to the cosy room. Then again with all that sun the glare off the television was horrible on the sunny days we did have here.

I loudly tie up the garbage bag, removing it from the can with as much noise as I could make. Sure I was being immature but I was allowed to every once in awhile especially if my 40 year old mother could. Kicking the screen door open I drag the garbage out to the back hoping the whole way the bag wouldn't split because I really did not feel like picking up a bunch of trash because of the stupid animals that would come if I didn't. Sure I was used to being surrounded by bush and the whole 'one with nature' thing, but the tribal elders really needed to do something about the raccoon problem we had. They were cute yes, but they would be a hell of a lot cuter as a hat and not knocking over our trash bins. Maybe we should get fearless guard dogs and let them run wild in the woods and take care of the raccoons.

"Oh so she does do chores"

I jump five feet in the air, clutching my chest , and dropping the bag looking around. I had definitely heard a male voice from the bush, of course it was dark though yes, smart idea Mom send your defenseless daughter out in the dark. Now I'm going to be rapped in the butt and it's all my mothers fault. HOPE YOU SLEEP WELL TONIGHT drunken Nazi, slave driver. '_Oh officer it was horrible I told her to take out the garbage and fell asleep in my drunkenness from the wedding, now she's gone!_'

"Lily, it's me. Would you turn around?"

What's that rapist? Turn around, not likely.

"Lily, come on, you can't tell me your still mad at me for leaving"

Leaving? Well Mr....wait a minute..

"JACOB BLACK YOU RUNAWAY ASSHOLE!" I scream turning to punch my AWOL best friend who had just up and disappeared weeks ago. Fist raised and ready to launch I stopped to take in his appearance. All arms, check. Legs? check. No damage to that beautiful face? Check. Horrible hair cut? Check, with mental note to fix later. Smug smile, of course. I roll my eyes before weakly hitting his right arm, it always hurt me more then him to hit now a days anyways.

"Well it's nice to see you too Lily, miss me?"

_Yes, it was horrible_. "No... you asshat". I mumble heaving up the garbage bag and throwing it into a big tin dumpster before slamming the lid shut. Try and get through that bloody raccoons.

"Oh I think you did"

I sigh heavily, turning back to face him. "You just left Jake, no one knew where you were, and if they did they wouldn't tell me. I know you leave me in the dark about a lot of things now a days but I never thought you'd actually just up and leave without saying goodbye at least. There are people here who care for you Jake and if you ever" I poke his hard chest, "ever, put me through this again I will make sure you are incapable of ever having children".

"Done?" he asks stiffly, he had already looked angry now I just kind of wanted to punch his stupid face, but I had done that a few months ago and it resulted in a broken hand. Him and his oddly hard bones.

"Yes, yes I am" I grit through my teeth before pushing past him. Sure he was good looking, sure we had been, are, best friends. I however wasn't going to put up with this 'Woe is me' attitude. He was weird enough now a days as it was.

"That's it? No hug? Nothing?"

"Goodnight Jacob" I mumble knowing he could hear me, that kid had killer hearing.

He also had a lot of groveling to do.

* * *

"Hey Lils it's Jac-" _skip_, "Lily would you please just-"_skip_,"If your going to be so immature then-"_skip_,"LILY ANN SIOUX"_skip._ The worst part of it was that was only half the messages that had been left this morning. Truth was, Jacob and I had the same temper, I could just control mine better. That and he shouldn't be allowed around a phone when I'm angry with him because then he just gets more frustrated and it's not fun for anyone really.

With a rush of anger I pull the phone out of the wall, if that didn't stop him from calling I didn't know what would. Stupid Jacob, he can go run away again for all I care. I could feel my chest heaving as I once more attempted to get my anger in check, I had always had a bad temper but since Jacob left it had gotten harder and harder to control. In all honesty I was beginning to consider anger management classes or something of that matter because my anger was coming in burst over the silliest things.

Looking at the clock I could see it was just past 11, which meant Mom had left for work about an hour ago. I hope she enjoyed her hangover today. Come to think of it I wasn't feeling so hot myself agin this morning. Shrugging off the stiffness in my body I search the counter for the note that I knew was going to be there.

_Lily,_

_Behave yourself today, do your chores and I'll have dinner ready when you get back from work._

_P.S. Either call Jake back or unplug the damn phone._

_Mom._

The fact my mom knows me so well was often great, but then again there were times I just wanted to hide in my room all day and die a little inside. Or a lot, like last year when Jake had been away from school for two weeks, then was all of the sudden super mega foxy hot. After a nightly internal battle about how wrong it was to love my best friend I would be up and not fall asleep till the wee hours of the night. Then every morning I would hide in hope that maybe, just maybe the feelings would leave. Yeah, they didn't. Quil Ateara and Embry Call, my other two closest friends were helpful somedays. Well Quil more then Embry, Quil may have that impish grin that sometimes made you want to run for the hills but Embry would get into playful moods sometimes, a change from his quite and shy nature that made you want to run as far as you could as fast as you could. They were my friends, Jacob, Quil and Embry of course the boys were closer now, they had secrets that they never shared to let me in on which frustrated me. Most of their days were spent hanging around Sam Uley the twenty-something year old who has nothing better to do then steal all my friends. I mean if Sam wasn't madly in love with that Emily chick I would think that he had some sort of gay, sex fest going on. I mean that permently angry Paul guy, Seth and Leah Clearwater all hung around him too. It was unnearving.

_BAM BAM BAM_

"Lily! Stop ignoring me and open the door!"

I speed walk over to the back door glaring at my overly tall best friend, through the screen. Like hell I was actually going to open the door.

"Not unless you're going to give me some good answers explaining your behaviour Jacob Black" I snap, I wasn't good at holding a grudge against Jake because I cared too much. But I needed to this time, I needed to know for sure if he left because of _her_. For once I wasn't going to let him flash a grin and those adorable puppy dog eyes. No really those eyes could solve all of anyones problem, oh your dog died? Just look into Jake's eyes problem solved. World Peace? No big deal! Jake flash em a look would yeah, on what's that Iraq? You surrender!

Jake stared at me from the other side of the door, his jaw set in a firm line. Oh was the little puppy getting frustrated? Good. It was then that I could see Embry and Quil standing not to far behind him on the steps. Shirtless of course, about a year ago they all decided since they'd suddenly become well built clothes on the top half weren't necessary. Not that I was complaining Jacob looked like a Greek-god and I would pay quite a bit of money to rub my hands over the majority of his body. Just saying, I mean if you're going to keep the top off, just do away with the pants and satisfy my imagination.

"Checking me out Lils?"

"Don't call me that" I ground out hands on my hips, I could feel that sudden anger returning. If I was mad at him he couldn't go calling me Lils, like everything was fine. That and I wanted to ignore the fact he had caught me giving him the once over, about 5 times.

"Lily?" Jacob asks suddenly sounding worried, "Lily, what's wrong? Open the door Lils" I could feel myself getting hot, why was it like a million degrees in here all the sudden? I looked down at my dark tan arm which was glistening with sweat, it wasn't even hot outside today. Maybe it was just Jacob being back? My body wasn't used to the hormone overload? Wait, is this what..horny? felt like. Ew.

"Lily! Lily! Open the door!"

"Oh Lilypad, my lovely frog bed, open the door for Jakey"

Embry is a tit, that is all i have to say and how many times did I tell him NOT TO CALL ME LILY-PAD!

"Lily Ann, open the door please?" Quil's voice sounded the nicest but somehow I could still feel myself getting hotter and hotter, and then the headach came.

"AH" I cry out feeling myself crumble to the floor, I ached all over it felt like my joints were expanding in my body then contracting rapidly. I lay out trying to strech out the pain, ah hello cold tile floor how are you doing today.

"LILY!"

I hear my name again, which I was honestly getting sick of hearing before I also hear a loud crack and a thud before three pairs of cool? Hands were one me.

_"Let's take her up to bed, Quil call your Mom and tell her she won't be coming into work today. Embry go get Sam"_

_"But Jake.. you don't think she's...."_

_"JUST GO!" _

And then I saw black

* * *

"-Don't know how this works"

"What do you mean you don't know how! Why is my baby changing right before our eyes?"

"I honestly don't know, the others went through growth sprits before and still after. It makes no sense why she's physically changing so rapidly. Or why she's unconcious."

"How much longer?"

"I can't be sure, we just have to wait"

The warmth was not comforting, I could tell someone had put a blanket over me probably trying to be helpful but they weren't, I felt like I was on fire. I didn't know how much time had passed, I lapsed in and out of conciousness but the voices, the voices should leave they weren't helpful, just jumbled messes of words and underlined compassion. However one was helpful, she seemed to help the most out of all of them. Soon she was there the most often, I could feel others but they stayed quite knowing better then to overwhelm me.

**"Lily, do you understand now? We protect the tribe, and when they have all left we will return to our normal lives. I know it seems horrible, it is. But I'll help you I promise"**

* * *

"Lily, wake up honey"

"No, go'way" I mumble sleepily streching and throwing the blanket over my head.

Stupid people I haven't had any peace and quite for like, ever and now my mother has the gall to wake me up?

"Lily, listen to your mother. We have some things to discuss" a deep voice, comanding almost, startles me making me snap the blanket back. Listen to my mother? Who was Sam to tell me what to do. When I was five and running around in my underwear on the front lawn with Jake and Embry he wasn't the one to tell me to put a shirt on, it was her so he could butt the hell out of my life and go run his gay-orgy convent elsewhere I wasn't joining no cult of his.

I could feel myself starting to loose my temper with the man who was standing in my bedroom door, shirtless or course.

"Sam" I greet stiffly swinging my legs around and onto the flo-"OW!"

I hold my knee before falling to the ground, how in the hell had I wacked that off the night stand?

"A perfect example in which you need to get dressed and join your mother and I in the kitchen. We'll leave you alone" Sam camly instructs closing the door behind him and my mother who looked torn on what to do. As soon as the door closed I threw on some clothing from my floor, ironically it was too short. My jeans now were a good 3 inches too short for my legs making me look utterly ridicilous. Upon glancing in the mirror I gasped.

My face now had a thighter air to it, my dark cheeks now seemed even higher highlighting my face. I had slimed down in the midsection, my arms are stomach muscles defined in a girlish way that made it look like I had been attenting a gym for a few months, maybe a year. Werewolf or not, this was interesting.

I really didn't want to go talk with Sam and my mother, my options were limited though. Jump out the window, or be a good little puppy. Werewolf, werewolf, sure I heard legends of how we decended from wolves, but I didn't know who my father was, this should even, it made no sense that's all I was saying. Sighing I sadly move out of my room and into the kitchen, I didn't like Sam he made me want to punch a wall.

"Lily nice of you to join us"

Like I had a choice, butt munch.

"As you mother is on the council , she is well aware of your situation, well our situation"

Our, yes aren't we a big furry family full of love! Insert gag.

"I take it you understand everything?" he asks gazing down at me like some toddler, I really wanted to punch him, according to the female voice he was the Alpha, pack leader and I was to listen to him. Though the fact she didn't seem to like him at all made me feel a lot better.

I nod to answer his question before pausing, I had one to ask him.

"So when we, you know, power up-", "We're not Power Rangers", "-everyone in the pack can hear my thoughts?"

"Yes"

"Really? Shit. Like everything I think, they hear?"

"Yes"

"Can I block this anyway? Cause I have a very large problem with this!" I panic, Jacob would know how I feel, I couldn't keep that hidden if he directly talked to me I'd swoon! This was going to be horrible.

Sam glared at me, "This is not a joke, and you are to take this seriously"

"I didn't ask for this! Do you think I want to be some kind of freaky wolf! Do you think I want to listen to you like some sort of mindless robot? Do you think I want to fight vampires? Uh no! I want out!" I could feel my skin boiling and a rumbling within.

"Lily" my Mom softly pleads, "you don't have a choice, you have to learn to control this, it's dangerous"

"Mom, please" I beg ignoring Sam now, I could feel his glare but I really didn't want this.

"I'm sorry Lily, but just listen to Sam, he can help you" she sighs getting up from the table and leaving the room. I watch frowning before turning back to my new 'Alpha'.

"I may have to listen to you about wolf stuff, but I still really don't like you"

"That's fine"

"And I still think you run a gay bar in your spare time"

"Watch it-"

"And I'm not calling you Sam anymore, Mr. Uley". I finish crossly before leaning back into my chair. If I had to tolerate this I was not going down without a fight. Stupid vampires, I liked the Cullen's before, they we hot. Not I just kinda wanted to bite each one of them in the ass as hard as I could.

"I don't remember you being this frustrating when I used to baby sit you"

"Yeah, I used to think you were a lot cooler then, that and you let me stay up late. Now you going to force me to stay up late and I think you're an asshole"

"Well I can see you're as mature as you were when I used to baby sit you ten years ago"

"Same goes for you Mr. Uley," I sass glaring at my Alpha. I was going to resist as long as I could, but I was not, I repeat was not ever phasing into a wolf.

* * *

"Leah Clearwater, _LEAH CLEARWATER_ you want me to be within a ten foot radius of her? She'll kill me!"

I yell at Sam as he literally dragged me into the woods that surrounded La Push. Leah was a bitter, crazy bitch and I don't care if she fully understood what was going on with me, or that she was the calming voice that helped me though the change. I was not standing naked infront of her to turn into some wolf-girl who could share thoughts with a bunch of boys.

"Leah wants to help you, and as your Alpha...."

He made me want to choke myself, seriously I take it back, I don't want to know what the guys are up too. Keep your secrets I honestly don't want to know them!

I was pushed into a small clearing where I could see Leah Clearwater lounging lazily against a tree. She was wearing a baggy t-shirt and torn up sweatpants like I was and looked oddly at ease for the moment. Despite her calm exterior I had been alive long enough to know she was prone to quick mood swings and she had the strength to kill me with her bare hands. I mean sure I posessed that strength now too but Leah was scary!

"Lily, are you ready for your first transformation?" she asks her soft voice floating across the clearing, even though we were many feet apart and she had practically whispered it I could hear her loud and clear. Damn dog ears.

"No, I don't want to" I argued feeling myself get slightly ticked off, why was everyone so hell bent that I turn into a friggen wolf.

"You need to use your emotions, anger is the easiest, just give yourself over to the anger and run with it"

"I don't_ want _to though, why can't anyone understand that?" I ask loudly trying to calm myself, don't get angry Lily, keep it cool.

"You don't have a choice"

Yes I do

"No!" I yelled at the older girl, stomping my foot on the spot feeling my teeth grind against each other. Leah was smirking as she now circled me like some sort of animal. She was baiting me, and knew it was working.

"Lily, I need you to trust me okay. As soon as you phase I'll be right there with you"

"NO!" I yelled once more before my voice turned into a howl, I could feel as the clothes ripped off my back and I dropped onto all fours, Leah was now gone and a sliver wolf stood in her place facing me.

"_Good work Lily, good work_"

* * *

_"Awh man, Lily keep those thoughts to yourself" _ Embry whines, he digs his paws in the dirt. The pack was all taking turns phasing with me so I could slowly get used to it. Sam seemed to think I was some sort of flight risk and was going to run into downtown Fork's going "Hey, wanna see a neat trick?!", though I did think about doing that before I decided it would either get my killed or locked up in the hospital to be observed and tested on.

_"I think no such thing, now concentrate"_ Sam orders, I was suppose to be tracking Leah, trying to see through her eyes where she was. I however thought having two men's voices in my head was terrible even if Leah was trying to help me by not talking much.

_"What thoughts? Jacob shirtless? I can think about what ever I choose Embry Call!"_

_"You can, but will you when Jake is phased? What now Lils"_ My third best friend taunts jumping around in his wolf form like some sort of idiot. I snap my jaws towards him, I was too worked up to phase back so we were having lessons much to my utmost joy.

_"Embry, if you're not going to help phase back or run perimeters!"_

_"Sorry Sam"_

_"Is Lily done fantasising about the love sick puppy yet? I'm getting bored out here" _Leahs impatient voice pounds in my head as I try to concentrate on her and only her, trying to see through her eyes.

Green, tree, tree, more green. _"She's in the forest?"_

_"Oh smart" _Embry comments trying to keep his wolfish laughter inside.

_"I think this is enough for today, Embry, Leah phase back. I'll coach her on how to. Go home and get some rest"_

_"Ay ay captain!"_

_"WAIT NO! I HAVE NO CLOTHES!" _I mentally scream, like hell I was going to be alone with Sam, he was not seeing me naked.

_"Your part of the pack now, it makes no difference we are your family"_

_"Not by blood buddy, you're not seeing my lady lumps and I have no wish to see your dangly bits"_

_"This is insane" _he comments dryly his wolf form glaring as he himself gets behind a tree. _"I'll throw you a shirt when you've changed back, now relax and try to picture yourself as human once more"._

_"Promise you won't peek?"_

_"I promise"_

_"I don't" _ Embry voices suddenly, trying to sound flirtacious. I could hear growling nearby telling me Leah was going to take care of that problem.

I tryed to invision myself standing there, in the buff, but coudn't do it. My mind once again went to Sam sneaking around the corner trying to catch a peek.

_"Don't flatter yourself" _his voice comments dryly in my head as visions on Emily, his girlfriend float around.

Okay, here goes nothing.

* * *

"How do you do it?" I whined a week later laying across the kitchen table my head almost in my food, Quil and Embry were shoveling down bite after bite and I was disgusted at the amount of food I just had eaten. But I was STILL hungry.

"Don't think about it, feels good" Quil mumbles through a full mouth, I roll my eyes frowning, where was Jake? I hadn't seen him since the day him and the other two broke down my door. I was getting the feeling he was avoiding me. Or at least attempting to.

6 hotdogs, three peices of pizza and three Cokes. I ate all that and still feel like I was hungry, but I couldnt even think about food anymore.

"So Lils, how are you liking the wolf life?"

"I could go without the sharing thoughts thing, and I still think Sam is an asshat and it's going to drive me nuts to be around him all the time"

"Yeah just try not to think about anything you would like to keep secret, like when Jake was madly obsessed with Bella he thought about her so much I started to think about her. Talk about wrong man" Embry laughs picking up another slice of pizza and finishing it in three bites. My mother was bustling around the kitchen humming as she kept making food to appease our large appitites.

"Em, where's Jake?" I finally ask trying to pull some killer puppy dog eyes, I knew Jacob had been moping around the last week or so but he had also been not within my reach and I thought him of all people would be here couching me through this instead I had Leah, Sam, Em and Q. Everyone else tryed to stay out of my bitterness range, apparently I was as bad as Leah.

"Knock, knock!" a girl voice calls before Leah appears letting herself in and taking the chair next to me. According to the boys I was probably the only person other then her Mom and Seth that Leah liked. I didn't know weather to be flattered or scared. Though it did make me feel special that she wasn't a bitch towards me.

"Leah, help yourself honey" my Mother smiles handing her a plate while the boys rolled their eyes. None of us had really been fan's of the moody women before and now she had decided she was my best friend in the whole world.

Leah smiled in thanks, yes smiled as in the skin around her lips HAPPILY turned up around her teeth.

"What are you doing here?" Quil asked curiously, yes Q, good idea piss her off I'm sure Claire will love growing up without you. I mentally taunt refering to his imprint.

"Eating" Leah shrugs at the boys scarfing down some more food, I understood her pain of being around Sam, which meant unless she cooked for herself her only other option was Emily's and I doubt she'd sink that low.

"So Leah," I start, this was awkward enough what was I suppose to talk to her about? "How many times have you see these two naked?"

"LILY!"

"Too many" she laughs her head tilting back. "I'll give you a tip though, always phase back behind trees, they'll get an eyefull one day but that just makes it easier for you to toture them"

I had of course been filled in about the Sam/Leah situation, I've decided it sucked way more for her to deal with this then me. This imprinting business was silly though and at first I kind of wished Jake would just have imprinted on me, would make things a whole lot easier because now if he did find his "other half" I was left in the dust. This sucked.

"So I hear Sam's got you bruning the midnight oil tonight? You're doing patrol with these goons?" Leah asks almost with affection, baffling the boys with shock.

I nod leaning back into the kitchen chair, "Yeah first big night out, any tips?"

Leah thinks for a moment, "Pace yourself, around 3 you'll start to feel a little tired if you don't. The leech and his new wife are still on their honeymoon so the others have been out hunting more frequently. They won't cross the border, but be careful first time you get a whiff you'll want to attack". she pauses before leaning in closer with a small smirk, "and when you get bored, a nice short wrestling match always keeps things interesting".

Q and Em high-five while my mother looks around confused, the one cool thing was her hearing couldn't pick up half the things we could. Then again she was lucky she couldn't hear a dog whistle. Looking at the clock I could see it was nearing midnight, time for us to go.

"Alright boys, lets go run around in circles" I deadpan standing up, I was a little grumpy but a little excited not that I would admit that. Ever.

* * *

_"I bet I can out-run you Lily, I could probably lap you twice around the border"_

_"You could try, but do you really want me to think about licking Jake dry after a shower and then risk hitting a tree?" _I question Quil, the image popping up in his mind a lot more realistic then I had even imagined. I could hear Embry barking a laugh behind me as the three of us ran together swiftly through the forrest.

_"Hey guys? Why isn't Jake here?" _I question, I thought of all people Jacob would be the first to help me through this but he wasn't I hadn't seen or heard from him.

_"He's going though some Bella stuff, wants to stay human so we don't have to deal with his pain. He's been hanging around home with Rachel and his Dad since he got back."_

_"Don't take it personally, he just isn't quite sure what to say to you Lils. He's been blaming himself for your changing"_ Embry admits, now that was the kind of answer I wanted, none of this, 'Oh he's hanging out with his Dad and sister crap' that Quil was giving me.

_"What? How can he even think to blame himself?"_

I could feel Em hesitate slightly but I could hear his thoughts he knew he couldn't lie,"_Sam, kind of gave him the idea that you only changed because he left. When he ran off it sort of left a hole, opening up a new place almost. Sam thinks Jacob leaving is what triggered your change"_

_"But I changed when Jacob came back, that doesn't make any sense"_

_"When Jake left, how did you feel?" _Quil asks sincerely, I still wasn't sure where they were going with this.

_"I don't know, angry? When ever someone mentioned him I was always angry before worried or sad. I didn't understand why... Maybe because I knew that he left because of Bella and I was jealous?"_

_"You were in a rather bitchy mood when he left, you were snapping at every one"_

_"Thanks Quil, you sure know the way to a girls heart"_ I think sarcastically, stupid Quil I hope that imprint child of his draws on his face with magic marker again.

_"Don't be jealous I've imprinted and you haven't"_

_"Pedophile" _I snip, I wasn't jealous, much, just lonely. Though I had decided if both Jake and I didn't imprint by the time we were 20 (yearly speaking, seeing as I was stuck 17 until said imprint showed up, and I decided to stop phasing) I was locking him in a closet with me and jumping him. Yep, that's how I do things.

_"Embry darling, remember that promise you three made me in fifth Grade?"_

_"Of course!"_

_"Oh no"_

_"Quil, you have broken the oath!"_

_"Hey, you only need one husband so far you have two options left, and shouldn't you be doing something to get a boyfriend? Wear more make-up? Lower cut tops? Not hit every guy who looks at you too long?"_

_"Not all guys look for that stuff you know, I mean does Claire have a chest that I've totally been missing?"_ I taunt ignoring the growl coming from my friend, apparently the imprints were a touchy subject that we were suppose to not poke fun at. Not all werewolves imprinted, but the amount of times it's happened in the pack was unheard of.

_"So I hear the leech should be back in a few days, Seth should be excited"_ Embry changes the subject as we keep running. Seth as in Leah's brother? I had yet to meet him. Sam only "subjected" me to these two baboons and Leah, I had yet to meet with the whole pack. Then again I wasn't all for the happy family atmosphere these days. That and Paul saw me shirtless this morning. Twat.

_"Seth is going to get himself killed, kids too nice"_

_"I thought he was 16? That's only a year younger then us."_ I defend him, from what I know of him he was a nice guy, cute too, of course he didn't have rippling abs like Jacob did but I'm sure it was only a matter of time.

_"Who's the pedo now?"_ Quil barks a laugh, I pull up a quick flash of Jake in a towel one morning after falling asleep at my house. I also hear a satisfying crunch as Quil slides directly into a large bush.

* * *

"Someone better be dead or dying" I grumble into the phone not even bothering to say 'Hello'. I had literally just fallen asleep, and somebody had the gall to call me?

"Meeting at Sam and Emily's. I'll pick you up" the voice of my absentee best friend informs me from the other end. Deciding to ignore his behavior, I revert to child-like, sleep-deprived Lily.

"But Jake, I just got to sleep, I was running all night! I don't wanna!"

"You gotta, see you in 5" Jacob copies my voice before hanging up. I don't want to go spend time at Sam's stupid house with the stupid pack. I didn't want to sit and listen to any meeting. I've listened to enough, you try and listen to Embry and Quil's thoughts for a night that right there was enough to make you go nuts. Em wasn't too bad, he got distracted easily though, rabbits, squirrels, fireflies, oddly shaped trees, basically anything he thought was interesting was a thought that plagued my mind. Quil on the other hand, if he let his mind wander it drifted to Claire and barbies, the emotion he felt for her even if it wasn't, passion, still made me feel a tad like a lesbian.

I drag myself out of bed shoving on some shorts and a tank top, stupid Sam and his power trip. If I was the leader of this pack, well, they could do what they wanted and I just would pretend I was still normal. Grabbing a banana from the table I drag my tired ass out the door and into the porch were Jacob was waiting in all his glory. He was dressed like he usually was, torn shorts and a too tight t-shirt. I now understood why all Jake's clothes had suddenly been ripped to hell.

"Oh someone benefited from the wolf gene" Jacob taunts whistling upon noticing me. I roll my eyes taking a nice hard punch at his arm that for once didn't hurt me but hurt him. "A lot apparently" he frowns rubbing his shoulder before smiling that smile I loved so much once more, "wanna arm wrestle?" he asks with a sexy grin flashing those white teeth.

"Don't we have to get to Ash Ketchums house for the Pokebattle?"

Jacob stares at me confused before caching onto the fact I was talking about Sam.

"Sure, sure. Later then?" he smirks dropping his arm around my shoulder and leading me to the North of the reserve where Sam lived with Emily.

I glance down at my banana, I really wanted to eat it but I thought it was kind of rude to start peeling open a banana when walking with someone I mean it was kind of a sexual fruit...

"So how have you been holding up?" Jake asks after a few moments of silence, I wanted to tell him the truth, I hated it, sure there were perks but I could easily live without them. That and this friggen banana was taunting me to eat it.

"Alright, Leah's been a big help. Same with Q and Embry. I could live without Sam in my head. Did you know he threatened to lock me in a kennel if I didn't behave?" I was still mad about that, I mean if I call him Sam the Dog Catcher it's to insult him not for him to get new ideas to threaten me.

"Yeah they told me you were doing fine, sorry I haven't been around Lils" he sighs guiltily pulling me closer. That's it Jake feel the love. Was my banana getting firmer? Eh? eh? No? Damn. I hope this little internal chat about said banana wasn't going to surface next time I phased that would be really awkward.

"It's fine, I don't blame you, you know that right?" I ask looking up at him, his jaw stiffened a bit as he shook his head. Apparently he wasn't going to be easy on himself about this. Did he have to be so hard on himself about everything?

"It is my fault, I shouldn't have left in the first place. I was stupid"

Yes, yes you were, that Bella tit doesn't deserve you she can have fun with her new husband and his stone cold, un-functioning penis! Unlike my banana which at least could... what the hell is wrong with me.

"I'm used to you being stupid, s'not your fault" I yawn, how the heck did they do this. Quil and Embry better be as tired as me. Then again I am holding the holy grail of potassium in my left hand, yeah okay. Enough about the banana Lily.

Jacob chuckles tugging me down a side path that led directly to Sam's,

"Get used to it, you're going to be permanently tired for the rest of your life"

GAH I better not, I needed sleep!

Jacob tugs me up the front stairs while I tried to think reasons for not going inside and running back home to bed. Cramps? no... thanks to Leah they all knew THAT didn't happen anymore, that and my banana was good for those... Sick? oh wait, we don't get sick. Grounded? Nah, Embry is forever grounded by his Mom who knows nothing and he still has to come.

"How about you go in and say I died?" I suggest quietly as he throws open the front door, noise from the inside hitting us like a blow horn.

"Too late now"

"Awh fack" I cuss stomping into the kitchen and grabbing the closest chair I could. Now if I was smart, I would date Sam, and have a very bitter break up with him then like Leah I wouldn't be forced to join in on the activities.

"Nice of you to join us" Paul pips up from the other side of the table, he had a bad temper from what I've heard but he seemed oddly cheerful to me.

"Nice to see you in a shirt" I counter starting to finally peel my now mushy banana and dropping against the back of the chair is why I need sleep, I get snippy.

"Can't say the same" Paul winks making me growl, yes actually growl at him. I was still a little miffed at the fact he had got a peek of me shirtless the other day. I just can't wait for the day I can make fun of his less then average _joystick_. His joystick probably has nothing on my now half eaten banana. BURN!

"I'm sure that's enough, now. Could someone please tell me where Seth is?" Sam asks looking around the table. This kid was apparently really good at the whole disappearing thing. I have yet to see him, not that I usually did I think I got a small peak of him at his and Leah's Dad's funeral last year.

"Sorry Sam, right here" a cheerful voice calls, followed by heavy footfalls outside. I could hear the heavy feet on the stairs and look towards the door which was quickly open and a tall, slightly built teen walked in. His excited, big brown eyes, glanced in around the room once but I saw them, I saw _him _Seth Clearwater. I wanted to, touch him. Be near him, always. I wanted to be the reason for that big happy grin on his face, the reason he smiled. A pulling in my chest made me stand from my seat and the noise in the house vanished completely. I could feel all eyes watching me, all eyes following me as I paused taking in the younger boys body. What was going on? Why did I feel this way, I didn't know this boy! Two seconds ago I was eating my banana!

"- and then of course Leah had to go tell Mom that- What is everyone looking at?" he asks before glancing in my direction once more as I stood stupidly a few feet away from him, holding a half eaten banana. I probably had drool coming out of my mouth but at this point I really didn't care. Hello love of my life, take me now, me and my half eaten banana.

His head snaps back like an elastic band his eyes locking with mine. The deep pools of brown sparkling with kindness, passion and... love. His sprit was so pure that it almost made me giddy to be so close to him.

"I'm uh, you're, Seth" he stumbles on his words stepping forward, even though he was now only about three inches away I didn't want that I wanted him to touch me, I wanted him to hold me. Nervously he holds out his hand which I carefully take into mine, on contact I could immediately feel it, warmth, love, security. I never wanted to let go. I shuddered, not a creepy orgasm shudder, but a 'I have a body tickle' shiver.

"Oh my!" Emily's voice cut through the silence like a knife jolting Seth and I out of our trance. I blush letting go of his hand but unmoving from my place beside him.

"I have to go" Jacob says roughly standing and running for the door as fast as he could. I watched him leave, wanting to follow him but I couldn't will myself too. It was like every thought, all the feelings I had for Jake before didn't matter. I couldn't even think about loving him that way anymore, my thoughts reverted to the moment Seth walked through the door and the moments after. The only thing I felt for Jake right now was friendship, but I knew if I tried I could dig deeper.

"Quil, Embry, go calm him down" San orders before walking over and standing over us. "How do you two feel?"

"Awesome!" Seth smiles hugely grinning down at me. I couldn't help but smile back before turning back to Sam.

"Mr. Uley, I'm so confused" I admit, I was tired beyond belief, and had a large amount of emotions running through my boy right now. On top of that I just wanted to touch Seth, anywhere I could really. Would that be creepy? Also, I wanted to get rid of this fucken banana!

"That makes two of us Lily, that makes two of us" he shakes his head heading for the phone frowning slightly.


	2. I could get used to this

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* * *

"S_ooooooo_" my Mom starts, I could feel the weight on my bed shift as she took a seat by my feet. I could also hear the tone in her voice, this wasn't going to be amusing for _me_. "Seth Clearwater? He's a good boy, cute too".

I groan burying my head further into my pillow. Maybe I'd die of oxygen deprivation that would be awesome at this point.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really" I mumble into my pillow, why would I want to talk about this? I didn't want to banter on and on about the boy like some obsessed little school girl because that's what I was basically. I could feel a longing for him and I had only been away from the guy for three hours it was ridiculous.

"Why don't you invite the Clearwater's over for dinner, I'm sure Sue and I have some things to discuss regarding this new development"

I roll my eyes into my pillow, Yes Mom, you caught me I'm going to bring Seth home so we can bang like rabbits since we obviously can't control ourselves.

"Why don't you" I suggest lifting my head from the pillow, I was so tired, I could use a nap before a big stressful supper. Looking over I could see my Mom smiling softly to herself whilst staring at my wall. Sure a Harry Potter poster, really nice, you should see the naked pictures online. "Of course dear, why don't you get some sleep. Just call if you need anything, I'll be in the living room".

I grunt in response finally allowing sleep to overwhelm me. For awhile at least.

* * *

_"Jake! Jake wait up would you!" I yell running up to my best friend as fast as I could. Sure I was faster now but he was faster as well, he was taller then I was making his strides still about double mine. Not that I minded he was taller who wants some sort of 6''5 girl? Er no one that's who._

_"Why him Lily?"_

_"Why who Jake? What are you talking about?" I ask now confused positioning myself in front of him so he couldn't escape. Well he probably could but for my sake we were going to pretend I was the Great Wall of China and impossible to burst through._

_"Seth? Why couldn't it be Embry or someone who I could find something wrong with?"_

_"Your mad at me for imprinting on Seth?" I drop my hands from his shoulders, what did he have to be mad about? _

_"I just..." he stammers bringing his hand up and running it through his hair, it was a movement I always used to love, it would make my knees tremble and heart pound. Now? Now I kind of wanted him to stop doing that or he was going to loose his hair._

_"I always thought it would be us Lils, you and me together forever, best friends"_

_I shake my head up at him, looking deep into those dark brown eyes of his. This was my best friend since youth, he was the one who kissed me back in Grade 2 just to see what all the hype was about. I'm the one who kissed him in Grade 8 when I wanted to know what I was doing for a date I had a few days later. In ninth Grade he was the one who started making smutty jokes, asking if I knew what a trouser snake was and asking if I wanted to see his. Then again in ninth Grade I was the one who had to play seven minutes in the closet with him, where we played rock, paper, scissors for those seven minutes. I was that friend, who was a girl that always had his back when he was getting unwanted attention. Pretending to be his girlfriend so those brave enough to approach Jake would give up. He was that over-protective brother type who I always wanted to deck because he chased a cute boy away, or came up and slung his arm around me at the wrong moment making a boy re-consider that date he was going to ask me on. I was the friend who complained about having a small chest, and cramps. He was the friend who complained about girls and how complicated we were because if he was a girl, my boobs would be the perfect size and he couldn't even understand how I ran with them now._

_But that was it, we were best friends. Best friends are always sitting there in the wings, he was there when Embry and I dated in Grade 7, and then had a childish break-up involving him not sitting with me at lunch. Jake was there, he was always there. I was there for him last year when Bella was throwing him through the hot and cold. I was there in Grade 6 when he broke his arm falling out of a tree, when his sisters left for college, when he was having an argument with his Dad. I was always there for him, and him for me._

_"We'll always be best friends Jake, why wouldn't we be? Just because of Seth? He want's me to be happy. Nothing is going to change Jacob, nothing alright"_

_"But it will, in a few years you guys will get married, and move in together, have a child."_

_"Wow, wow, First I have to wait till Seth is ready,till I am ready for that. When we start aging together that stuff is going to come slowly. Jake, I want to go away to school, experience life, like we always talked about. I don't plan on settling down at 18 and starting a life with a guy and that being my only aspiration. I want to live life with my friends, and Seth. What happens happens, but I'm not halting life because of this" I ground out referring to my imprinting. It bugged me, sure I felt like I was head over heels for Seth but it wasn't love that we created. It was literally love at first sight and that wasn't something I believed in. The reason I had been so gaga over Jacob was because I knew him inside and out and loved everything about him, I could write a book about him. Seth, I knew nothing about, a few general facts, but yet I felt like he completed me and it was...wrong._

_"Lils I-"_

* * *

Poke, poke.

Maybe if I ignore them they'll go away.

Poke, poke, JAB.

I roll over opening one eye seeing a grinning Leah blowing off her finger like it was a smoking gun. "Oh were you sleeping?" she asks innocently, my nostrils flare as I hold back a growl. I pull up the blankets once more over my head, why exactly didn't I protest to my Mom's bright dinner idea?

"Look Seth, she and you have similar morning moods, should be entertaining when you guys finally-"

"LEAH!" a angered voice interrupts. Seth was in here, oh. I could feel the emotions in me bubbling as I remove the covers deciding to search the room for my other half. This was so weird, so wrong. It was like having an fanatic crush on a movie star, you'd do anything to be with them, hold them, touch them. Yet my movie star was standing three feet away and my body and hormones didn't seem to be satisfied yet.

I was almost tempted to jump him and see what would happen, then again I'm sure that would be creepy. But then if he responded that would be weird also, he was after all an overly hormonal sixteen year-old teenaged boy. Then we could factor in how awkward it would be for everyone in the house, and the fact I still am a little unsure of this.

Seth was smiling shyly from my door, it wasn't till now that I noticed exactly how similar to Jacob that he looked. They carried the same air about them, happy-go-lucky, you couldn't bring either of them down with a stormy day. I smiled back at him watching his unsure smile turn into a large grin. "Have a nice nap?" he asks as Leah slips out of the room behind him, she of course was smirking like no tomorrow.

"Yeah, was alright" I nod standing in-front of him awkwardly. Do I hug him? What on earth was I suppose to do? I mean he was younger, only by a year but I didn't want to be some sort of cradle robber. Seth seemed to be having the same debate in his head because his brows scrunched together in confusion.

"This is weird" he voices after a moment shaking his head,"I mean-"

"I know what you mean" I interrupt seeing him relax visibly. Gently I take his hand from his side intertwining his fingers with my own. It was almost as I could feel his pulse joining with mine. The cravings my body had to touch him died down and our posture both relaxed as we simultaneously sighed in contentment.

"Before dinner" Seth blushes looking down at me nervously,"would you like to go for a walk?"

I smile softly, at least he was trying to make this somewhat natural.

"Sure Seth, a walk sounds great", I nod happily leading him down the short hallway and into the kitchen. As we enter I was greeted with silence as the three smirking women in the kitchen abruptly stopped talking and started smirking at our joined hands.

"Aren't you guys mature" I mutter as we head for the back door, "we're going for a walk, call us when the foods ready". I could hear Leah snickering but chose to ignore her as Seth and I headed for the forest lands still linked.

"So how are you adjusting to the change?" Seth asks as we stop by a fallen tree trunk taking a seat, not holding hands any longer but definitely sitting as close as we could. "I'm adjusting, ran my first patrol last night. I don't like it but I'll survive".

"Leah seems to like you well enough, when you first changed she was actually almost giddy, she ran all the way to Sam's and demanded he leave you alone for the duration of the change."

I smile up at Seth seeing the emotion in his eyes, it scared me because I could almost grantee that my eyes didn't reflect the same strong emotions. I mean I wanted to be with Seth, be around him, I felt as if I loved him, he was my reason for existing. Somehow though even though I had accepted it, I almost didn't want to.

"Leah's been great, I'm happy she's been around".

"I'm happy she was there even when I couldn't be" Seth mumbles almost sadly, I frown he didn't know me then there was no reason for him to be upset. I didn't like seeing him upset.

"You're here now" I find myself saying. WHY did I just say that? The phrase was awarded with an almost heartbreaking smile, I could feel myself hype up from his giddiness that one phrase gave him but I also wanted to bang my head off a tree for saying that.

* * *

"- now with Lily in the picture we need someone to go with her for her first few times out before she can go alone. No Seth it can't be you, No Leah we all know what happened the last time" Sam sighs looking around the table, I high-five Leah, Sam had been referring to the old cabin we had demolished when we attempted having a jumping competition. Two of the Cullen's had told us they had things covered when they ran by the border hunting so we had taken a break, a, very long all night last break since we were suppose to be patrolling not in bed.

"But I like patrolling with Leah"

"I'll patrol with Lily"

I glare at Paul before turning back to Sam my face set tight, "I refuse to patrol alone with him" I state clenching Seth's hand under the table, we had been having a thumb war just a few minutes prior to the topic of me came up.

"You will do as I say, and Paul offered so we'll try it, with Jacob moping about Cullen's we need you out there more".

I growl, Bella and her stone cold husband had come back yesterday, apparently she was sick and now Jacob was all in a huff and sulking. Not that I cared much he hasn't talked to me since Seth and I imprinted. I missed him though, he was my best friend and it almost felt as a piece of myself has been gone a piece that Seth could never take over, it was a piece that was meant just for Jake and him only.

"Wouldn't it just be easier if we made the Cullen's leave, or better yet killed them in their sleep"

"They don't sleep" Seth offers though sounding slightly put out, almost sad.

"Damn that plans out then" I mutter before turning back to Sam, the other chuckling at my suggestions "I don't need a babysitter, can't Embry come with me tonight just for a bit then leave? I've been out enough to know what to do."

Sam sighs, apparently I was the only one who pissed him off this much or even thought to question him, then again he hadn't pulled the Alpha card on me yet.

"I'll get ahold of Jacob, have him run with you a bit."

"Goody" I deadpan leaning back into my chair with a sigh looking away from Seth guiltily but he wasn't looking at me anyways his focus was on the floor and I found myself wondering what I could do to make his mood improve.

"Quil I need you and Embry to go tell Jacob I need him out there for a bit tonight, tell him it's not up for discussion he can go visit Bella tomorrow or the next day, we have to make sure she hasn't been changed anyways."

Of course he can do whatever he would like, skip meetings, visit vampires, yeah hail King Jacob. "Lily until Jake joins you go phase and run around the border, Paul go with her."

I growl standing from my chair patting Seth on the shoulder as he left, as much as I would like to know what was going on with him I didn't really have time. I didn't like the feeling I got when I wasn't around Seth, it was like there was a constant tug in his direction. Now I was left with sick minded Paul who spent his time thinking about Rachel Black in ways I rather not describe. I mean Seth and I imprinted on each other but we don't spend out time picturing each other naked when on patrol.

Walking out of the house I glare at Paul before running in behind a tree, I was never going to get used to this, changing and standing naked in the bush I mean for all I knew Sam had set up secret cameras and was filming me, then sold the tapes to Seth. Shiver. When I slipped my sweatpants down I quickly bundle the clothing before stepping into a cord circle the size of my head. Had to set it up now couldn't exactly tie it on as a wolf.

_"Took you long enough"_ Paul quips in my head, I trot up beside him letting out a light growl.

_"You have less clothing to remove, you walk around in just sweatpants I on the other hand have three more articles to remove and I rather not ruin anymore clothing"_

_"I'm sure Seth wouldn't complain if you walked around without those three things"_

_"Shutup"_ I mutter in my head as we run in opposite directions from each other, I let my mind drift to his saddened face, I was still confused though, why was he sad?

_"Seth has a soft spot for the Cullen's, he likes them. Your remark about killing them in their sleep probably didn't make him feel all that great"_ Paul offers, I hated sharing my thoughts I couldn't get any time to myself just to think it seemed.

_"Well that makes sense, I guess I'll have to talk to him later"_ I mentally sigh running through the forest at top speed. What was I going to say to him? Seth, I'm sorry I want to kill your friends so they stop causing everyone stress and pain? No that wouldn't do... Seth, look I know you like the Cullen's I wasn't really serious about killing them in their sleep? No that was a lie and he knew it.

_"How about 'Hey baby lets get freaky?'"_ Paul suggests a flash of me in a skimpy dress in view. I snort out loud, which sounded worse as a wolf.

_"Yeah that will just solve everything Paul, thanks for that". _ I mentally laugh there was no way I would do that, Seth was younger...

* * *

Jacob had never come, I had been subjected to Paul's mind all night. I loved how Jake would disobey Sam like nothing. But because I was a good girl, nice friend, all that jazz I was following the undeniable pull I had to the Clearwater house, at 6 a.m.

Sue was up I could hear her moving around the small house, but I wasn't planning on using the door. Quickly I look around jumping and pushing against a tree scaling the house in two jumps landing quietly on the roof and more importantly in-front of Seth's bedroom window which was conveniently opened.

He looked so content when he was sleeping, the breeze from the window was ruffling his hair slightly. I had only been in his room once and it had only been for a minute, Sue thought we were going to jump each other the first chance we got, then again I would have thought so too after the incident...

_"No, no, no"_

_"Yes, yes, yes"_

_"Just give it back Seth, please" I beg staring at the blue journal he had in his hands. I didn't have anything about him in it, but there was a whole lot about Jacob and Seth didn't need to read about that._

_"Why have you been proclaiming your love for me in here?" he grins holding it above my head still standing beside my bed. His other hand reaches up to open the journal. There was no way he was reading that._

_Without warning I launch myself at him knocking us both down on the bed, I was laying on top of him choosing to ignore the look of shock, and longing that flashed in his eyes. I wiggle myself upwards grabbing for the journal which was now frozen in his hands. I knew why, this was the closest we had ever been, we hadn't talked about what we were to each other, it was a topic we had avoided. We were becoming friends and we both ignored the pull that we constantly felt, driving us for the physical contact._

_"Hey guys, your mom and ours-WOW!" Leah yells jumping back from the open doorway, the sound of foot falls behind her. Seth and I both jump scrambling to right ourselves but our height and haste just ended up in a weird wiggle dance that looked even worse for when our mothers arrived._

He slept quietly for a boy I had half expected him to be snoring, but there he was _my _Seth, _my imprint_, breathing quietly a small smile gracing his face. He was always growing, though not as tall as the other boys he was almost 6 feet now, and his body was filling out more. There was now doubt in my mind that he was attractive, he didn't go out often but from memories I could see the looks girls gave him if he went out with his Mom into Forks. He didn't notice those girls now, I was the only one on his mind but I still couldn't help but feel jealous.

"Seth?" I whisper sitting on the bed brushing his hair from his forehead briefly, he was going to need a haircut soon it was getting pretty long. He twitches slightly in his sleep snuggling more into his pillow making me bite my lip so i didn't laugh. He really was quite adorable. "Mm, Lily" he mumbles, sleepily his eyes opening slightly before he shuts them his arm shooting up pulling me down beside him on the small bed. "Seth what are you doing?" I ask quietly poking his nose.

"Sleeping, too early, how did you get in?"

"Window"

"Good good, I missed you last night"

"Missed you too" I admit, I had I spent most of the night thinking about him after-all.

Seth sighs contently pulling me in closer to his bare chest, I was a little worried to look down, I had a feeling he was only wearing boxers. I had only bothered to put on some shorts and a yoga bra when I changed at home before coming over and now the skin on skin contact was a little weird, weird but nice. I couldn't very well load on the clothes now a days or I would overheat in the muggy summer.

"Seth? Can we talk?" I ask watching as his eyes open, my hazel meeting his dark brown. I liked looking into his eyes because they showed me his emotions, what he was feeling, they showed me, reminded me that someone did love me, someone did care, other then my mother that is.

"Yeah sure, is something the matter?" she asks quietly shifting his hand under his head and propping it up on his elbow. He looked quite rested even during the early hour, I hadn't slept yet and probably wouldn't be tonight either.

I smile softly reaching up to brush some hair out of his eyes, "I'm sorry about what I said regarding the Cullen's, I forgot they were your friends I didn't mean to make you feel bad". I apologize seeing him smile.

"I would do anything for you Lily, but the Cullen's are my friends please don't ask me to hurt them."

"I wouldn't, I want to like them I really do but it's just-"

"I know, I know, I used to blame them too, I still do in a sense but if you get to know them it helps, I'm not saying you have to like Bella either, just try and hide your hate, Edward can read minds". he laughs quietly running his hands through my hair making my lids heavy with sleep. I shook off the feeling though directing my gaze into Seth's feeling my body instantly heat with feelings.

"I know you don't like to hear it, but I do love you Lily"

"I know Seth" I mumble reaching up to take his hand in mine, I did love him too I mean I didn't have a choice in the matter but I wanted to wait till I thought I really did love him, till I felt I knew him enough to love him until I said it. Seth said he loved everything about me, past,present and future but there was a lot he didn't know especially about the feelings I used to, still deep down, may have for Jake.

"Lily?"

"Ye-" I was cut off when a quick kiss was placed on my lips, a severely blushing Seth pulling away looking like a wounded puppy.

"Sorry, I..." he smiles slightly, "-really have wanted to do that for awhile"

I giggle, my eyes widening at the sound, I was okay with this? I liked this? Without thinking I reach up stroking his cheek before pushing myself up bringing a slightly longer kiss to his lips.

"I think I've wanted you to do that for awhile" I whisper unsurely, before letting his lips crash down on mine once more.

The thing was, I did like it.


	3. Drama and Sexual Education

So I updated early but just because I need to get this out before I start writing a paper.  
So REVIEW  
**3-5 reviews** in exchange for new chapter :)  
So help me procrastinate.  
Rachel-*

* * *

  
_Of course_ we were caught.

I don't even know why I thought we wouldn't be, but of course about an hour after Seth and I had figured out the joys of making out, in his small yet comfortable bed Sue, with the silence of a Vampire opens the door and begins laughing.

Yes, his mother laughed at is, I don't know if it was because I was pretty much mortified by the fact the women had caught us practically mauling each other or because I was suddenly very aware that I was wearing next to nothing, that Seth was wearing next to nothing.

Now Sue Clearwater is a very hip Mom, she has been through a lot yes but she is almost a boy form of Seth she enjoys making us uncomfortable which is why both of us are now sitting at her kitchen table along with _my_ Mother. I mean if I found _my_ son, in bed with his "soul mate", madly making out in next to nothing, said boy getting very into this new activity... I'd call the girls parent too so we could embarrass them. Well I would have done that, but now that it has happened I've reconsidered that idea.

"Are you two being safe?"

"Practicing safe sex is very important Lily"

My god! I could feel my face turning red with embarrassment, not that I could get pregnant anyways. Wolf-ism was the ultimate birth control.

"We're not having...relations!" Seth yells his own face beet red. It didn't help he was standing there in his boxers I could practically feel my eyes roaming his body accidently. I couldn't help it physically he was 20 or so and I was going to be 18 at the beginning of the new year. I was allowed to stare. At least thats what I kept telling myself. No we weren't officially dating but it was an unspoken agreement that we kind of were. We didn't have an option, we were genetically made for each other. Which was freakish because most people, or wolves don't imprint on each other, we were weird.

"Yeah what Sue saw was the extent of our relationship" I mime standing up and spinning. Did I honestly do that, what was I trying to do anyways.

"You're not having sex then?" my Mom asks looking...disappointed. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMEN!

"NO!" both Seth and I yell, I was beginning to shake, me not having as much control as Seth did.

"Lily" he says resting his hand on my shoulder making me calm down. I look around the small kitchen seeing my Mom smirking and Sue looking absolutely delighted at the fact we would some day be having sex. This is so weird.

"Seth and I aren't having sex, nor will we be for quite awhile. If we choose to we will be careful I can promise that. Now" I pause seeing Leah standing by the door silently laughing her ass off."-we-" I was cut off when a howl ripped through the air.

Well that makes things easier, the three of us, Leah stopping her laughing all briefly look at each other before running out of the kitchen pulling our clothes off in the process.

_"What's happening Clearwaters-OH! OH! Priceless" _ Paul laughs as Leah deliberately thinks about the kitchen scene. I growl at her swatting at her with my paw as more chaos begins.

_"Seth, little Seth Clearwater was caught in bed with his imprint! Lily, Lily you little minx"_ Jared taunts as well all continue to run to the border line.

_"Lily are you corrupting innocents again?"_

_"Oh Lily-pad remember when that was almost you and J-"_

_"SHUTUP QUIL!" _I growl in just the nick of time, all Seth had was a 'J' that could easily be Jason, or Jack, even John, he would never know. I mean yes it was something I was going to have to tell him about eventually, well soon but still.

_"All of you be quite we have to meet up with Jacob he has something to tell us"_

_"Maybe he imprinted on a guy?" _I suggest seeing Embry ahead of me, I was happy we had caught up to them, though I was still ticked at Jacob for the silent treatment I had been getting.

_"Lily!"_ I yelp feeling the power in Sam's voice, behind me Seth growl slightly before he two was quite.

* * *

"Where the hell did they go? The pair of them just take off like some sort or monkey's!" I yell pacing in Leah's bedroom, she was sitting on her bed quietly which was weird for her but I think she was trying to come up with a plan.

"We can't even hear them anymore, they just ran off on his own, can he even do that?" I ask with a huff plopping down beside Leah, of course Jake had freaked out when the death of Bella was mentioned. Now that I think of it, I didn't really want to kill a person either. How did she even get pregnant? I didn't think little Eddies ding-dong worked.

"I want to go with them" Leah says suddenly, I look over at her shocked I thought she hated the Cullens, actually I knew for a fact she didn't like the Cullens at all actually and she hated Bella even more for wanting to be a Cullen.

"You want to..." I pause, I would go in a heartbeat really I mean Seth was with Jacob, who knew what he'd get himself into, and I missed him,"can we do that?"

Leah frowns, nodding slowly. "I think if we wait to phase till the border, then make our decision final we should be able to...we have to be quick though when Sam hears what we're doing he's going to try and send us right back. You're too new to this Lily, he's going to try and use that against you".

At this I scoff, I had pretty good control actually, I think it helped that Seth was usually near when I lost control, one touch from him and I was perfectly calm again.

"Okay" I nod, "let's go". It was around 5 in the morning. Sam hadn't been particularly pleased at what Seth and Jacob had done and has spent a good while yelling and taking turns either blaming Leah or I for not having enough control over Seth. Please the only part of Seth I controlled was his..erm.. I didn't control his brain okay!

Leah grabbed the house phone turning it on so it was off the hook incase Sam tried to call Sue alerting her of Leah and Seth's AWOL status. My mother was bound to want to hang me alive whenever I got home but she knew I would rebel the first chance that I got. Quickly we make our way out of the house running down the dirt road and towards the high-way where the border was, all we had to do was hope that Sam hadn't sent someone to look out for this area incase he was anticipating that we would do this.

"There's no turning back now, you know that right" Leah asks as we sprint easily down the dirt roads turns, both of us in shorts and a tank top that would no-doutably be ripped in a few minutes.

"Yup, now lets go protect some vampire ass" I mutter as we both speed up.

* * *

_"Are we seriously going to fight about this? She's staying, Seth is staying and I'm sure as hell not going back so Sam can lock me up in some cage for being a bad puppy. Looks like you got yourself a small pack, now deal with it Black"_ I growl sitting down in wolf form beside Seth as close as I could. Leah and Jacob had been arguing about if we were all leaving or not. I can see why someone would object to Leah being in their pack but my thoughts weren't all that bad, I knew that I wasn't experienced enough yet, I'd behave.

_"I don't want to tell any of you what to do"_

_"Good because I rather not listen to your crackpot ideas anyways"_

_"Then don't"_ Came reply's from both Leah and myself, Seth was sitting quietly choosing not to speak anymore because with Leah here he knew that she'd win.

Jacob growls choosing to ignore me still before running into the trees, with a shimmer we could feel him phase back before his very naked form comes walking out of the trees. Even as a wolf my jaw dropped.

_"Don't look, look away, holy heaven are all wolf boys that gifted?"_

_"Always showing off"_

_"Shit that's something I didn't want to see" _Seth whines before turning away from Jacob who didn't seem to care he was standing in front of us naked, in front of me, his best, or former best friend naked begins to speak.

"I'm going to go check on Bella then I'll be back, you guys run or do whatever you want".

_"I'll do what I like leech-lover"_

_"I'll run for a bit I don't mind"_

_"THAT is what has been hiding under his clothes all these years!"_ I mentally scream loosing a bit of control, sure I didn't feel anything for Jacob anymore I couldn't but I could see that he was very nice looking, probably better then I used to imagine.

_"Better then you used to imagine? Why were you.."_ Seth trails off, crap. This mind sharing thing was a horrible, horrible idea.

_"Seth please I'll explain everything"_

_"Just, let me think for awhile Lils, just.."_

_"Oh great, can't believe he left me here with you two"_

_'Seth it's nothing really.."_ I feel the hurt rolling off him as he turns looking at me, his wolf eyes conveying what he felt. I look around the small clearing before running off in the direction Jacob had taken I'd go sit by the house and wait for him, naked or not I had to leave Seth alone.

As I ran I concentrated on following Jacob's scent trying to ignore the hurt rolling off of Seth as he mentally conversed with himself and snapped at Leah who kept complaining about his girly feelings and thoughts. I finally stopped at the edge of the bush around a large white house, the stink of the Cullens burning my nose. To think about two months ago I ran into that Jasper guy and though about how nice he smelt. Well that really wasn't the case now.

Okay Lily don't think about Seth, or Jacob just think about anything else, like no ones listening to you. But there are people listening to you, even that Eddie guys is probably listening. Hello Edward, you know I didn't think your ding-dong worked, imagine my surprise when I heard though. You obviously weren't practicing safe sex, no condom? Seriously? Ah don't feel bad my Mom and Seth's gave us a sex talk just yesterday morning. Too bad I can't ovulate. Oh forget I said that, I really hope to go you aren't listening because I'll either get my ass kicked by you or Jacob if you tattle. If you are listening though.. never mind. I couldn't ask him for clothes I didn't exactly want to go in and talk to Jacob either, stupid old best friend ditches me as soon as I imprint to think I used to be in love with that guy. Oh shit, EDDIE DON'T TELL HIM THAT!

I sit down my dark brown fur was catching on a bush but I didn't care, the guilt I felt was almost overwhelming I think it would be easier if I just sat here and waited for Edward to come out here and eat me. Stupid love, stupid forced love, stupid imprinting, stupid Jacob, stupid Bella, stupid vampires, stupid shape-shifting genes, stupid birth. If I hadn't been born none of this would happen, why oh why did you have to have sex mother! Father, who-ever you are why did you sperm pick me!

"You know I have never actually heard someone curse their own birth"

I jump up instantly growling at the Vampire in-front of me, Edward, figures.

"Esme wanted me to bring you these so you could come in and eat, I also wanted a slight break from your constant thinking" he mumbles putting the clothing on the ground in front of me. The clothes smelt pretty bad, I was hungry though and tired of feeling Seth's hurt and confusion and Leah annoyance. Even if it meant I had to go inside where there were many Vampires and Jacob I couldn't find myself caring.

"You're a new wolf?"

_"Well you haven't see me before have you? Don't worry I'm too depressed to loose my temper"._ I assure him nudging the clothing over behind a tree so I could phase and pull it on.

"If you loose control even a bit I won't hesitate in dragging you outside"

"I won't hesitate in letting you, I don't want to hurt anyone" I mutter following him into the smelly house. It was too sweet and it was burning my nose, sure I could breath through my mouth and then I would just taste it and that was no better.

"What are you doing in here" Jacob demands standing up quickly stalking towards me. I roll my eyes at him moving closer to Edward an action that seemed to shock him as well. I wasn't scared of Jacob but he was acting like I came in here to kill Bella. The girl who was laying on the couch in the lap of a blonde vampire looking like she just was ran over by a truck. Sorry Edward.

"I was offered food, like you I haven't gotten sleep or food for at least two days"

"Shouldn't you be running with the others?" he demands towering over me, I once again shrink closer to Edward loosing any type of dignity I had.

"You said you didn't care what we did, besides Seth and I need some space right now" I mumble the last part feeling a cool hand on my shoulder. This is what I have been reduced to a scared puppy afraid of my Alpha who looked like he wanted to murder me right now.

"Oh Lily dear I have some food in the kitchen for you" a soft voice says startling me slightly. "Edward why don't you take her into the kitchen for a bit?" the maternal Vampire instructs, she was kind obviously and her face showed that kindness it would be very hard for anyone to dislike her. I'm pretty sure I disliked Jacob at this moment more then I could ever dislike any of the Cullens.

"He worries that you'll loose control around Bella, that you're only here because Seth is." Edward sighs as I sniff a plate of food, the stench wasn't too overwhelming which would make it easier to eat.

"That is why I'm here but I thought my _best friend_ still considered me as such" I mutter, I didn't care if Jacob could here me, but I was beginning to see why Seth liked the Cullens so much.

"Oh man it reeks in here" a loud voice announces suddenly, a huge, very muscular and scary looking Cullen walks into the kitchen followed by a short block haired one. Emmert and Ally? Edward chuckles a little I guess I got their names wrong.

"Hello wolf-girl, I don't recognize you, you're not the moody one"

I snort, "Leah's outside somewhere with Seth", I shove some more pancakes into my mouth, once you get past the smell these were like heaven. The tiny one with black hair kept sighing and muttering under her breath, she looked like she was under a lot of stress I felt for her.

"Lily I left some clothing by the door for Seth and Leah, when you do go back out I hope you wouldn't mind bringing it to them?"

I shake my head shocked by her kindness, "Of course not Mrs. Cullen" I promise, it was the least I could do she did make me a yummy breakfast.

Esme smiles looking at me with a kinds smile, "Call me Esme dear, also tell Seth and Leah there's food in here when they want it" she offers sweeping out of the room once more.

"I like her" I announce happily shoving more food in my mouth ignoring the snickering around me.

* * *

_"Someone's breaking treessss" _Leah sings mentally a brief look at a moody Alice slamming against trees one by one and angered look on her face.

_"Leave her alone you two, I'm going to go see what's taking Seth so long, Lily come "._

I growl lightly before following along behind him not wanting to hear Leah's laughing. No Jacob and I weren't talking again he now felt that where were I was to go, he was to go. That of course didn't help things with Seth, our separation was beginning to physically hurt, as a human he'd gaze at me hurt and confused, then glare at Jacob softly before leaving to go elsewhere. As a wolf I felt the emotions roll off him as he still refused to let me talk to him or explain.

I quickly change not even bothering to get behind a tree anymore, Paul had see it anyways meaning they all had. I could hear Jacob mumbling under his breath as he pulls on some pants, I roll my eyes at him starting towards the front door and entering without so much as a knock, someone could probably smell me coming anyways.

No,no,no,no,no,NO..!

"Lily calm down" Edward says quietly as I stare at the scene in front of me, Seth sitting on the couch arm draped around Bella, smile on his face. No only did she manage to take Jacob from me but she woos my own IMPRINT! I glare at her clenching my teeth hearing Jake walk up behind me. He wouldn't be all that pleased either.

"Seth" he greets, Seth finally noticing we were in the room. I didn't even bother to listen to his stuttered out apology as he unravels himself from Bella, Jacob going to his seat. I could feel my body start to shake slightly, rather then break this lovely house I turn for the door feeling Edward's concerned gaze on me. Stupid guy thought I was suicidal or something.

Why did everyone flock to that girl? She had friggen vampire spawn growing in her and my former best friend still wanted her? Hell even Seth rather spend his time with her then trying to talk to me. "Where do you think you're going?" Jacob's voice cuts though the silent room. I begin to shake more violently.

"You are to stay here, you go where I go"

"Is that an order?" I ask back still turned, teeth clenched. I didn't see what he was trying to do, keep me occupied, keep an eye on me. Either way Jacob didn't answer my question and that just made me more angry.

"Jacob Black" I growl feeling Seth walk up beside me, his comforting hand clamping down on my shoulder," take our friendship and blow it out your ass, as far as I'm concerned we've never been friends".

It was probably a drastic thing to say because I should hear Bella gasp and then she started crying probably because she blamed herself, good she should. I shrug Seth's hand off my arm and fling open the door still feeling him behind me.

"Lily?"

I continue to walk down the front stairs making my way to the edge of the tree line.

"Lily, please" Seth's voice cuts through me like a knife, I missed him ever neuron in my body was telling me that, I could now understand what it felt like for Quil sometimes.

I sigh turning to see him standing there, his face was crumpled up and his hands were slightly shaking at his sides. "What Seth, can we talk now?" I snap walking up to him poking his chest as hard as I could without breaking my own finger.

His gaze shifts down, his lips forming a slight frown.

"If you had let me explain you would know I don't feel that way for him anymore, it's impossible for me to! I don't love him, I can't and you know what even if I wanted to I doubt I would anymore!"

"Lily-"

"I know I hurt you, I didn't want to hurt you I tried my hardest not to hurt you but I can't be around you anymore when you're hurting, knowing I caused that pain is unbearable" I yell frustrated, I was frustrated with myself, with the fact Seth wasn't saying anything he was just staring at me looking amused, I was frustrated with Jacob and the fact I knew he could hear this little fight everyone could.

"I'm leaving, I'm going home I can't be around that hot headed asshole anymore. I'll sneak back onto the rez and just stay home. I'll tell your mom you two are fin-"

Lips were suddenly on mine, a gentle hand on my cheek another on the small of my back pulling me into the body of my imprint.

Gentle at first, caring, longing soon turned into frantic and lustful, his lips started to most against mine quicker, straying every so often to nip at my neck and ear. I sincerely hoped that Jasper wasn't anywhere close by right now.

"I missed you, I'm sorry, so sorry" Seth mumbles whilst dropping a soft kiss on my forehead. "I was just, I just I felt how you used to feel for him, I could see it" Seth sighs pulling me closer cradling me against him. "I..I just wonder if you would ever feel that way for me".

"I feel more for you Seth, more then I ever did for Jacob, more then I can understand right now".

"As long as you try, as long as we can try, that's all I need".


	4. What Goes Around Comes Around

You live you die, models make girls feel like they're fat, and inappropriate touching leads to babies. Ten pieces of gum is hazardous to your health, adding juice to cake batter doesn't make it change color and no matter what people say when pregnant you should never wear a mu-mu. Boys lie all the time, they don't think with their brains and no matter what they say Adam Sandler is a horrible actor.

The facts of life ladies and gentlemen, the one fact I never learned however. You _can't_ be a lone wolf, it just doesn't work. You have to belong somewhere and since I refused to go back to butt-munch Sam and since I absolutely refused to be around Jacob or even have him in my head I was now sitting in the La Push store working for Quil's mother. Who didn't seem to be very impressed with me at the moment.

Okay unimpressed seemed to be an understatement, now I know i was never the best employee. No I will admit that much I always gave the guy free snacks even when she demanded I made them pay, yes even her own son! I made excuses to leave early on night we worked together and often closed up early when I was alone. Most days I ate more food then we sold and I had been caught with a particularly yummy senior by the back fridges, but that was _only_ once. However today she looked like she was going to pull out a Bible any moment now along with some Holy Water shouting _'the power of Christ compels you! Be gone demon employee!_' I mean yes I missed a lot of shifts but she knew why! I know she knows!

I mean I'm pretty sure the whole reservation knew I was back, oh boy did I getting a scolding when I got home. Of course that was after all the tears and sobbing and hugging but I got it good. I have a theory that the wolf-moms get together and plot ways to torture us. Hence why I'm here, in the job I was required to quit not but a few weeks ago.

"So Mrs. A..."

"Why don't you go home Lily, I'll close up" she, well orders not breaking her hardened gaze. I slowly back away from her almost afraid to turn, she might have a hatchet under the counter who knows!

Quickly I make my way out of the store and towards my car choosing to use this slower method of transportation. As long as I stayed away from the woods I wouldn't be harassed by Sam's pack, well much because it was only a matter of time before they came and killed me I'm sure. Then as long as I didn't phase I would be safe from Jacob, yes, safe safe safe. I hadn't phased since I told him to blow our friendship out his ass. Believe me it's not that easy because I have quite the temper now a days.

Yeah it also meant I had to pace around outside the Cullen house until Jasper go so fed up with my feelings that he offered to drive me to the border line after calling and asking my mother to pick me up there. Yeah it was a regular drug deal I was being smuggled it was kind of fun. It was all shady like we sat in the car until my Mom's car came around the bend and then she stopped and flashed her lights once, at this point Jasper had gotten a little annoyed with my excitement and did push me out of the door but it was still fun.

_"I want someone to love me, for who I am. I want someone to need me, is that so bad? I want to break all the madness. But it's all I have, I want someone to love me. For who I am". _I scowl slightly at the lyrics of this song, guess that Nick Jonas fellow didn't count on a thing called imprinting. Sure that _someone_ loved everything about you but it was still different. I sigh before turning into my driveway happily seeing the front porch vacant of any shape-shifting_ brothers_ of mine. Chief Swan's car was here, him and Mom had been hanging out a lot more recently I think she was trying to open his mind a bit more, though as long as it didn't include me stripping and morphing into a wolf I didn't care how she prepared him.

I had the sudden urge to listen to the Spice Girls which was good because I listened to it last night while I cooked dinner meaning it was close by.

"I'll tell you what I want what I really really want" I sing skipping up the stairs and opening the door swiftly. I wonder if Mom had dinner ready yet..

"I wanna! I wanna! I wann-" I pause taking in the scene before me before cussing quite the range of swear words. "MY INNOCENCE!" I yell covering my eyes. On the list of things I never wanted to see again in my lifetime, Charlie Swan in his boxers sitting in a kitchen chair, _my_ chair, with my topless, formally innocent mother straddling him, yeah that was now on the top.

With my eyes still firmly shut and left hand covering them I attempt to run from the room whilst plotting way to get the scene out of my head. Bleach? Heavy drugs? Hell I don't think anything would work I'm pretty sure if I shot myself in the head the bullet would just get stuck in my brain and the hole would heal over. Unless... I located the part of the brain that stored traumatic event, oh traumatic event I could get some kind of scholarship for this in future.

"Where the hell is the hallway, oh my god I've gone into shock!" I yell hearing the frantic movements in the kitchen as the two adults try to cloth themselves, I didn't even want to look at them again. What Charlie Swan was doing to my mother top half was not an appropriate activity for an older man like him. He should stick to fishing with Billy.

"Lily" I shudder hearing my mother's voice, ugh even her voice brought horrible visions that were going to plague my mind for the rest of my long existence.

"Do not try and pollute my mind with your filth, immoral women!"

"Lily!" she snorts as I continue to try and feel my way to my bedroom, sure I probably looked like an idiot with my hand over my eyes and butt sticking out and I attempted to find my way but so be it!

"Lily I want to introduce you to Charlie properly" she says calmly, I could almost see her green eyes pleading with me but nope that wasn't happening, remind me of the time I found her and that nice man fixing the dishwasher when I was six-wait a minute..ew! SEXUALLY ACTIVE PARENT!

"I think I know him more then anyone else in the world right now, with the exception of you and his ex-wife" I hiss, I could hear him shuffling around in the kitchen, and my mother coming closer to me her hands pulling my hand off of my face. Well jokes on her I wasn't opening them.

"If you come play nice with Charlie I'll make you brownies" she whispers making my eye snap open, brownies? Chocolate goodness? Yummy for my tummy?

"What are we waiting for then" I smile pushing past my mother who's buttons weren't done up properly I noticed, and head into the kitchen where a blushing Charlie Swan sat in _the_ chair, clothing back on, "Hey Charlie wanna teach me how to shoot a gun!?"

* * *

Charlie Swan, Charlie Swan and my mother kissing.

Charlie Swan and my mother kissing shirtless.

Did Quil's Mom know this was happening?! IS THIS WHY SHE SENT ME HOME!?

She knew she was scaring me for life didn't she, she just knew it?

The world has it out for me, give me freakish genes and turns me into a werewolf, sends me home early to see the father of my sworn enemy shirtless in my kitchen hand raping my mother!

So gross so gross, I was going to need major therapy, some major therapy.

I mean I thought him and Sue were getting closer or was she with Billy now? God so much drama on this reservation. I mean I know I have a father, somewhere...

Touching leads to babies, touching leads to babies, my mind kept rewinding the scene I had walked into on in the kitchen earlier. Oh course I had booked it out of the house running for my car as soon as I had finished eating a very awkward dinner. Both of them kept looking at each other and smiling, hell my mother giggled! She giggled and then launched into an embarrassing story involving Seth and I, like that made things any better. No it just added to the awkwardness, then she went on to say how I used to be in love with Jacob! That got his attention all right, I hope the man know I hate his daughter.

I see a Cullen car zoom by, but the person in the car was not a Cullen. Hum maybe my future step-sister told him to take a hike finally? Ignoring my former best friends mood I drive happily on my way eventually arriving at the big white house. Edward was of course waiting on the stairs it looked like he was already laughing at me.

"Stupid mind reader" I mutter slamming my door closed and running up the front stairs to the house following him in. Bella was wincing on a bed like usual but was drinking something red out of a cup, something told me it wasn't a smoothie.

_Hiss_

"Oh calm down I have no desire to touch her, talk to her anything really" I mumble too low for Bella to hear me.

"So...where did jerk off go?" I ask after a few moments of silence, the annoyingly protective vampire was hovering around Bella and Edward was staring out the window with a frown on his face.

"He just needs a litte-"

"YOU!" a voice erupts from the door way, I jump seeing Leah storming through the door, yelps and growls following her as it slams.

"Er me?" I ask stupidly as my angered friend storms past me giving me a glare, okay not me. I raise my hands in surrender letting her storm past, whilst standing a good distance from Bella's gurney.

If I was on the receiving end of this I would be scared, unlike me Leah hadn't had the opportunity to shower for awhile and her hair had leaves a twigs in it, dirt was smudged off over her body and the clothes that she had put on. Though I'm pretty sure it was because she rolled them in the mud to get rid of the smell. She looked to put it nicely, like she had been rolling around in cow shit and then decided to take a bath in a leaf pile.

"-but I love him, I can't-"

"-and another thing! **STOP USING HIM**! He doesn't need you in his head playing games with his mind, you think you're all _grown up_ and _mature?_ **ACT LIKE IT**. You're a married women stop stringing along a seventeen year old boy who's heart keeps getting broken at every turn because of you! You mess with the Alpha, you mess with his pack why do you think Lily can't stand you either! If my brother wasn't so messed up instead of letting you us him a a space heater he might tell you to get a blanket you whiny ass women! You don't deserve him as a friend, hell your pathetic and don't deserve to be in his presence!" Leah rages her face turning red and her body beginning to visibly shake. I stared wide eyed at her as she shot another look at the now crying Bella and shook Edward's hand off her should stalking for the door.

Holy shit I'm pretty sure I just found my new hero! Would it be a bad time to yell at Bella myself. I glance at Edward who looked torn at what to do, he didn't like the attention Bella gave Jacob these days but he also wanted to comfort his wife.

Ohh Leah was going to get it when Jacob got back, not that I was going to stick around and witness that though.

"I thought I smelled dog"

"Hello Alice" I laugh watching as Edward cautiously approached a still crying Bella, well it was more of a wailing now. God that girl was annoying, not only did I have to leave my house to get away from her father but I was going to have to leave this one to get away from her annoying sobs.

A door slams outside, crap.

"LILY!" Jacob calls out, oh what did the jerk want now.

Edward suddenly snaps his head towards the closed door before looking at me his eyes widening before he shakes his head almost frantically.

"What does that mean?" I hiss as he pointedly looks at me shaking his head, yeah because I know what _that_ means.

"LILY! Come out here!" Jacob's voice roars, I could hear the growling of Seth from the trees nearby, I'm pretty sure Leah had high-tailed it out of his path at least till later on.

What did bossy want and why was Eddie shaking his head no? Like no don't go out there? "Bella honey I'm just going to go see Jacob" he whispers before appearing in front of me.

"I hope you're ready for a fight" he mumbles before disappearing out the door quickly.

Fight? Now? About what? I wonder as Bella looks at me tears still running down her face. I hope she didn't expect me to go comfort her, sorry not everyone is going to like you bud.

"LIIIIIIIIIILLLLLY!"

"Jacob!" Edward yells as the doors burst open and my former best friend strides in directly towards me. Oh hell I'm going to die, it's going to hurt and Mom will be pissed. "How could you not tell me dammit! All that time and you didn't even mention it to me! Don't you think I would have liked to know that you were in love with me? That _someone_ finally loved me? None of this imprinting shit! We could have had a future together, could have been happy! Why Seth? Why him! WHY NOT ME! Out of all the things you didn't think to mention to me, this! I could have learned to love you, I could have protected you from everything! You wouldn't even be here if you had just told me!"

I feel my jaw drop and my eyes bulge out. Holy shit. This is what we were going to fight about? Oh he could have _learned_ to love me, yes don't you know the way to a girls heart Mr. Black.

"Told you!" I yell my hands on my hips, how was this my fault!? It didn't even matter now, I had Seth and Seth was all I needed I didn't need Jake like that anymore, actually I didn't want the guy within ten feet of me.

"When was I suppose to tell you? When you were _gushing_ over what a great girl Bella was? Telling me how you loved her, how _you_ wanted to be with _her_? Was I suppose to tell you when you asked me to leave you alone so you could wallow in your self pity because _she_ had come back to _Edward_? Oh no _I guess _I was suppose to tell you when you ran off, just when you had kind of managed to let her go!" I bite sarcastically rolling my eyes, if he thought that he could pin this on me now he had something else coming, I didn't care if I was screaming at in in the Cullen's front hall he obviously needed to finish this now. "Of course! All those wasted opportunities I had, especially all those times I didn't know where you were when you were out with the pack too busy for your best friend, yep all my fault and here I was thinking I was doing a good deed keeping your feelings spared!".

"How are my feelings spared? Now I have no one Lily!"

"What are you talking about" I scoff glaring at him with a hardened look.

"You have Seth, you're gone, Bella's married. I have no one"

"No Jacob" I sigh disappointed in his little realization, "it's not that you have no one its that you came too late. You realized you can't have her so now you ticked off because you can't have me. You can't just decided that Jacob, you loved her, you can't get mad at me now because in some other world you think you would have given me the chance. You wouldn't have and you know it! Things didn't work out, but now you can't get pissed off because you have no one to fight with. I'm happy with Seth and someday you'll find that happiness too. If you weren't such a jack ass then maybe we would still be friends instead of you ignoring me over things I can't control you ignorant asshole! There are more then two girls in the world you know, and even if I hadn't imprinted on Seth I wouldn't want to be you second choice. I don't want someone who has to _learn _to love me, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to deal with you while you _learned_ to love me while still being head over heels in love with _her!_" I hiss pushing past him roughly leaving him to stand in his stupidness. That's right just stand there and be wrong you insensitive jerk. I think hearing Bella start up with a whole new bit of crying and mumbles of 'Jake you don't love me anymore's?'

* * *

"I seriously thought he was going to kill me in there, but he got it out of his system it'll be good for awhile". I mumble pulling away from Seth who was shaking slightly, he was pissed at Jacob for storming in and yelling at me but I like to think I won the argument.

"Well _I_ love you, he had his chance before but not now, and never will he" Seth grumbles making me laugh, I lightly kiss his shoulder which was the only thing in reach managing to pull away fully. We had been attempting to say goodbye for ten minutes and he was no closer to the bush then he was before.

This was how our days would go now, I refused to step foot in the Cullen house again because of Jake so we would meet on the Cullen side of the border in my car. Mostly to make out but we did some talking too, I missed him most days I spent my time locked up in the house avoiding Sam and the others the best I could, they had yet to make contact but something was telling me I had been extremely lucky so far.

"No he won't" I agree still laughing, "and it better be known widely known to any girl that you are mine"

"I'm yours huh?"

"Yup" I sass leaning over to open the door on his side before motioning to the forest with my head. Maybe when he phased he'd give Jake an eyeful.

Seth pouts, his eyes sparking slightly, he was like a playful little puppy and I wanted to do nothing more then take him home with me but I couldn't.

"Tell my Mom I say 'hi', and that I'm sorry, we'll be home soon" I nod sadly thinking about the state Sue was currently, thankfully she was blaming Sam mostly which I took a lot of joy in. "I will, I'll stop by your place tomorrow. Does Leah need some clothes too?" I ask. He nods once more leaning over and placing a swift kiss on my forehead.

"Be safe".

I snort, "I should be telling you that wolf-boy".

"Says the wolf-girl with a bad temper" he teases hopping out of the car before I could hit him. Stupid sassy boyfrien- boy.

I watch as Seth runs off with a wink pulling at the drawstring of his sweat pants almost suggestively making me want to glare. I start the car quickly pulling a U-turn and driving down the road to La Push. I had a feeling I was going to need a nap before some unexpected company that was bound to show up within the next day or two.

* * *

"Ohh Lily-pad my lovely little frog bed"

"Ah fuck off would yeah, I'm not participating in any kind of brain wash"

"But we were ordered to come get you, there's a pack meeting at Emily and Sam's"

"I'm not apart of Sam's pack, I'm not apart of any pack I'm a lone wolf now like I said _fuck off_"

"Such language, she's got quite the mouth on her doesn't she Embry"

"She does Quil, what do you think Jared?"

"She needs her mouth washed out with soap I think"

"Nah I say a spanking" Paul offers winking, I sneer oh the things I could tell Rachel Black about her little boyfriend.

"Either you come willingly or we drug and gag you"

"You could try" I mutter feeling hands grab my arms and legs, I kick and wiggle trying to free myself from the offenders.

"Good job Collin, not too tight Brady if you leave a mark Seth will kill you"

I feel rope tighten, you have got to be kidding me. I glare up at Quil who looked like he was trying not to laugh. I don't even know who they got in here I was having a nap and then BAM, now I'm a hostage. Well not really these ropes were old and weak and I could easily get away but if I tried now they'd just come back later.

"Now since we don't want to deal with you we're going to use these" Embry smiles holding up a piece of black cloth and one of my old battered mp3 players. I scowl as the ear buds are forced in my ear a crappy dance mix blaring loudly, too loud for my overly sensitive ears. I try and bite Embry hand as he covers my eyes with the cloth.

For the duration on my _drag_ to Sam's I kick at who ever was holding onto me, I was beginning to think it was Embry or Paul because when I kicked I would in turn get poked in either the butt or boob. Either way when I find out who was finger raping me I was going to rip their head off. The dance music was still blasting and it made me wonder who's music this was because it sure as heck wasn't mine. I could feel myself moving up and down as we walked down what I assumed was the road or a path, oh I think we were climbing now, stairs thank go-OW MOTHER FUC!-

The ear buds were ripped out suddenly as I yell holding my head, no it didn't hurt that much but I don't enjoy having me head rammed into door frames.

"Embry! What did you do to the poor girl!" Emily's scolding voice sounds as I feel a gentle tug as she take the blindfold off of my eyes. I blink a few times taking in my surroundings in the bright kitchen smiling up at the older women. Leave it to her to scold them when I was the one who as hear for a scolding.

"I told you to get her here not kidnap her!" Sam's voice snaps from above while I sat on the floor with my arms and legs still tied. I sigh pulling my arms apart with some effort feeling the rope give way before repeating the process on my legs. I don't know what world they thought those knots would have held a werewolf but I guess they tried.

"Can I go home now?" I whine standing, the pack turning to gape at me in shock. I let them have their fun, they kidnapped me what more could they ask for.

"No, sit" Sam demands pointing to a kitchen chair, I roll my eyes and let out a short bout of breath. I don't know what had their panties in a bunch but it was ruining my mood.

"Seth hasn't been meeting with you recently correct"

"Yes" How in the hell did they know that?

"Jacob's watching over the Cullens though?"

"Yes"

"Why are you not there?" Sam asks eyebrows raised. Well this isn't what I was expecting, I was waiting for the, TRAITOR! YOU LEFT US! NOW UP THE RIVER WITH YOU!

"Because Jacob is an asshole, and an all around jerk who deserves to get fleas and or rabies. He always wants what he can't have and is never satisfied with the way things are, are far as I'm concerned he doesn't exist. I refuse to go back to him and I ain't coming back to you bunch".

"Jacob imprinted a few days ago"

I stare at him, on who? It had been a week since I had last seen him and I hadn't seen Seth in a few days he hadn't shown up at our normal meeting times as Sam so nicely pointed out. Is that why? Did Jacob imprint and then go ape-shit on her ass? HOW DARE I LOVE YOU! I could see him do that, ungrateful ass.

"Renesmee"

"Who the hell is that? Do I know her? Is she from around here? Tell me did he yell at her too? He has a tendency to yell at people for things that they can't control. Friggen hypocrite".

"Renesmee Cullen"

I laugh, and I laugh hard. He imprinted on a vampire! Is that even possible? When I voice these thoughts I'm met with a few smirks, obviously I was missing something. I'm guessing it was important too.

"Is she like Dr. Cullen's niece or something?"

"Or something, she's his grand-daughter"

"He has a grand- Oh my god...Bella..baby?" I ask weakly staring up at Sam who looked like he had swallowed a knife. Wait, Jacob Black, who just screamed at me for imprinting, just imprinted on a baby which was just born? From the very girl he was, or used to be love with? Wow what a..pedophile creep.

"So, Black imprinted on Bella's demon spawn?"

"Yep"

"Show _some_ respect.."

I couldn't help myself, I laughed, and boy did I laugh hard.


	5. Unloved

**_IMPORTANT_**  
So I updated early, yes even though only some readers deserve it  
Seriously I love the reviews I get, it only take like a minute to write something  
So, a few reviews and then you get a new chapter.  
Enjoy!

**Who's up for another Lily/Jacob fight and maybe a Lily/Seth one, next chapter?  
**Maybe a bit of Seth POV?

* * *

I must be high, seriously that is the only explanation I can think of for the random laughter I have bursting out of me right now as I drive towards the Cullen's drive-way. Of course I was going to go see this spawn of satan, the infant imprint of my former friend. I was almost giddy with laughter, the visions of a little toddler making Jake play dress up and princess the possibilities were almost impossible. I was more happy about the fact that he would feel for her what I felt for Seth, that he finally understood and could eat his words. I still wasn't talking to him though.

Before I even got to the front door Edward was at my side, only he looked happy very, very happy. It was bright today and his skin had a shimmer to it more-so then normal as he dragged me past a wolf-Leah who was pacing and growling at him.

"Be careful around Bella she's been good around Jake and Seth but don't provoke her" he mumbles leading me into the living room where a very not normal looking Bella was holding a baby.

"Holy shit!" I yelp jumping back and hitting Edward's rock-hard chest with some rather impressive force on my part. They turned that idiot into a vampire, that means they broke the treaty! Oh god when Sam finds out he's going to storm in here..

"Jacob was able to give us permission" Edward answers, I feel my lip curl of course Jacob would want his little lover to be immortal. I glance over at the couch seeing Jacob who was pretty much glaring at Bella holding the spawn child and..

"What the hell happened to you!" I screech running over to Seth his arm was warped up in a sling. I didn't even know he was hurt which was weird because I could usually feel in on some level, I didn't even notice as I pushed Jacob out of the way to sit beside Seth tenderly stroking his shoulder.

"Don't worry just protecting Jacob from Bella"

I scoff, "What would you do that for, if he's going to imprint on an infant he should deal with the consequences". Beside me I could feel Jake sigh a little, his own concept coming to bite him in the ass. He understood now that it wasn't something we could control and ten bucks says he's feeling like a pile of shit for blowing up and blaming me.

Seth just smiles rolling his eyes, he loved Jake as if he was his actual brother so I didn't expect him to talk badly about him, unless he wasn't there. I shrug snuggling into Seth's other side glaring at Jake, and Bella, then the mutant child, before ignoring the amused glance I was getting for Edward. He wasn't even offended when I called his kid mutant child, this was a plus.

"So how was your day yesterday?"

"Well, the guys kidnapped me, told me" I pause, "the _joyous_ news, they did leave out the part about Bella though" I growl glaring over at her, if Mom and Charlie got married I did not want to have a vampire step-sister no way no how.

"They kidnapped you?" Seth asks amused, well at least he wasn't angry I guess. I nod snuggling deeper into him _accidently_ kicking Jake and ignoring his grunt.

"Come on Bells let me hold her" he whines, I roll my eyes letting Seth crush me tighter to his side, if this is what the Cullens had to put up with good luck. I could hear someone coming towards the room, "Seth I think you should be good now, why don't you come upstairs and we'll take another x-ray" Dr. Cullen says somewhat happily, Seth nods kissing my forehead before getting up to follow the handsome vampire. They had an x-ray machine in this house? Maybe they should have made Edward stand in there and subject his balls to a little gamma radiation before he went and knocked up his _formally_ human bride.

You see in a perfect world this could have all been avoided when poor little Edward left, he should have stayed away. Though I think there's more to the story, something about Bella being an idiot and endangering her life, _again_. Bella could have continued to lead Jacob on, he would have wised up, we would have then dated been madly in love and I wouldn't be a friggen wolf. So all in all this is all Bella's fault, she should have just stayed living with her mother. All in all I could blame everything suck-ish in my life on Bella Swan-Cullen's existence.

"Would you like to hold her Lily?" Bella asks softly, I almost shiver, she even sounded like them now, thought I wasn't too sure if I wanted to hold the mutant child. Would I like to hold the spawn of the devil himself? Not bloody likely.

I could see Jake pouting beside me because she hadn't asked him which did make me reconsider the offer. So I guess this is her way of showing she's not all that horrible. Here hold my baby that may or may not rip your head off. Yeah and sorry for turning your _old_ best friend into a love sick puppy, but my baby will fix that! Ten bucks says this baby starts some sort of war just because she exists. Death to the immortal child! Burn her ashes! Steak her heart! Down with vampires!

"Sureeeee" I smile, in what I hope was a creepy smile, just scare her a little. For a baby that was only a few days old she sure was big. I hold back a laugh as Bella suddenly looks like she was regretting her decision of asking me, if I was her I would regret it to big bad Auntie Lily was going to run off and ship the baby up the river! The river I tell you. Ugh did I just call myself Auntie Lily? Like HELL.

The baby was placed in my arms carefully I avoided looking up at her mother not wanting to see those blood red eyes up close. She was a cute mutant child that was for sure, her curls framing her soft features just right, it was her brown eyes that got me though, so big and trusting that I almost forgot she was a half-breed. I didn't forget however that she was half-vampire and was debating sticking my fingers in her mouth just to see what would happen.

"Say 'Hi' to Lily, Ness" Bella instructs, Ness? like the Loch _Ness_ Monster? Ha Jake and a monster, seems to fit. She reaches a tiny hand out to touch my cheek, aw how cut-_Hey Nessie, maybe Lily will come see you today eh? She's a little mad at me but I deserve it I guess, I know she'll like you eventually so if she seems a little mean it's my fault not yours okay?_ I stare down at the child wide-eyed, what in the hell was that?

"Lily? what did she show you?" Bella asks softly walking closer, I shake my head glancing over at Edward who was nodding encouragement. "Yes I'm Lily, and Jake really shouldn't have you apologize for him should he?" I ask the baby who just giggles in return pressing her palm to my face again. _"Ow she bit me!" Jake whines, the blonde vampire laughing at his face. _I laugh poking her little nose, "Good girl, whenever he's naughty make sure to do that". I tell her bouncing her slightly in my arms. She wasn't horrible I guess, maybe one day we would be friends, just her and I of course.

"Don't encourage her Lily"

"Bite me Lassie" I growl glaring over at Jake who looked a little stunned at my outburst towards him. I don't know why really, sure he was all high on Nessie and imprinting but not all of us get to spend time with our imprints when we like. Some of us have imprints that run patrols for arse-hole Alphas.

I could hear a rumble of laughter from upstairs, there was no doubt in my mind that it was the big bulky one and his wife. I was a little shocked that the blonde wasn't hovering around didn't she see this child as her own or something, she had been rather forceful about us not killing the baby, Bella was never mentioned. Stupid selfish vampire.

"Lily, watch it" Edward warns, I look at him with a shrug. What it's not like anyone could hear me but him.

* * *

"No Embry Call that is a lie, you can make more then PB&J, you are not incapable of grabbing ham and cheese out of the fridge and I know for a _fact_" I poke his chest,"that you can make grilled cheese and a whole bunch of other things".

"But it taste so much better when you make it" he whines, yes whines like the little dog he is. I was so kindly woken up this morning with him slamming open my bedroom door, it didn't startle me to much my mother on the other hand wasn't all too happy with him walking in without permission.

"Embry Call you cut out that whining this minute or I will call your mother and inform her you are not here to help me fix the car" my mom yells from the living room, I smirk ah sweet success.

_Ring,rin-_"Hello" I answer the phone somewhat annoyed, how dare someone call this house what where they thinking.

"Uh, Lily? It's Charlie, is you're mother there?" he sounded confused and slightly scared his voice was higher then usual.

"MOM, PHONE ITS CHARLIE!" I yell unnecessarily loud as I hear her jump from the couch and rush into the kitchen pushing me away from the phone. It had a cord it wasn't like she was going to get any privacy while Embry and I were in here we could hear _everything_.

"Why is he calling you Mom?" Embry mutters, I wrinkle my nose throwing some meat on to some bread. "You don't even want to know man". I shake my head.

"_And then he just started talking off his clothes! Next thing I see is a wolf standing in front of me!_"

"Charlie calm down, do you want to meet at the Cullen's or just come here afterwards?"

I look over at Embry with a shrug, looks like Charlie was finally going to see his precious Bella. We _attempted_ to give my Mom some privacy by taking our food into the living room which she had set up camp for the day in. A few moments later she came in muttering to herself trying to push the pair of us further down the couch so she could reclaim her spot.

"Apparently" she says after a few minutes making Embry and I laugh into our hands, we could tell she was pissed but waited to see why, "Jacob thought it would be a good idea to _show_ Charlie what he was. Poor man was so confused when Jacob started stripping he thought he was going to have to get his gun out! At least the boy had some sense to tell him that he could talk to any of us about it, he's going over to the Cullen's for a bit then he'll come here". she explains, I snort picturing Jacob as he striped in front of a very confused Charlie. I so wish someone had taped that.

"Aw Sam's going to be pissed, he already basically told Bella way back when doesn't he know how to not break the treaty!?" Embry complains. Wait what?

"What do you mean he told Bella? I thought we weren't allowed to tell anyone?"

Embry gulps shifting his eyes now between the door and I, oh hell was this something else I could be pissed at Jake for?

"Well technically he didn't _tell_ her...", "but technically he did?"

"More or less"

"And you or Quil couldn't technically not tell me I suppose" I grunt my nostrils flaring, stupid jerks can let little whiny arse girl toys in on everything but me, nope!

"Awh come on Lils, don't be mad" Embry begs ignoring my mom who was laughing at the two of us, we had been friends for years so she was used to hearing this sort of thing. The boys often left me out of stuff when we were younger and I wasn't too happy.

I snort standing from the couch stomping into the kitchen throwing my plate in the sink before heading for the door. "By the way I spat in your sandwich". Stupid jerk.

* * *

_"Awh look the little baby remembered she was a wolf"_

_"Oh stuff it Leah" _I growl, she was the only one I could hear so I was assuming that Seth and Jacob were up at the house being all protective and what not.

_"OH I was wondering when you'd find out about that. Not to mention if she didn't figure it out she caught him and Paul fighting, boys not to subtle. Speaking of subtle, you should see what he did to Charlie" _ she laugh bitterly, I knew she was pissed off that he showed Charlie he has also let out her little secret as well.

_"So, are you going to run with us again or are you going to continue being a whiny little bitch in a way that would but the spawns mother to shame?"_

I laugh, she didn't want to outright ask me to come back, I knew she missed me but she had her own way of showing it. She grumbles at my thoughts making me know I was right. _"You try living with your brother and an exceeding annoying ego-maniac in your head, alone"_ she stresses the last word, I could almost feel the disappointment rolling off her. I run to catch up with her making my way onto Cullen land, I had been half waiting for Sam or someone to come out and grab me I hadn't phased for awhile but this felt nice.

_"So I hear you're still ignoring Jacob, I don't blame you"_

_"Oh now I know I'm being a bitch if you approve" _I tease, her scoffing at me mentally as I join her sitting outside of the Cullen house. It felt weird to be here now, I was used to being inside surrounded by that choking oder.

So thats where we sat, and sat, and sat some more.

I was seriously contemplating chasing my tail I was so bored, Leah had fallen asleep and I could hear bits and pieces of conversation from inside as everyone throughly freaked Charlie out.

_"Things with Seth going well?"_

_"You honestly want to talk about my relationship-ish thing with your brother?"_ I question holding back a laugh, it was pretty obvious we were bored as hell. I just wanted to see Seth and I was hoping Edward would have heard my mental screams by now, apparently he was ignoring me.

_"Not really I guess, but"_ she hesitates slightly,_"I know you can't hurt him, but try not to none the less. I know Jake and you have all this shit going on because he's an idiot but be easy with Seth..he love you a lot..it's rather disgusting actually"._ she mutters the last part making me laugh. I nudge her slightly with my body showing her I understood.

There was no denying in my wolf genes that I love Seth with every fire of my being, he was made for me, he was my soul mate. It didn't help though that my old conflicting emotions kept being brought up, I knew it was a little hard on him especially with me avoiding Jacob. Maybe I should have a talk with him?

_"-and then I got so bored one day, hell I watched a movie called The Meerkats, a whole hour talking about those little bugger monkey-cat-dog things-"_

_"What in the hell are you talking about Leah?"_ I interrupt her, she growls in irritation before replying, "_must be the vamp fumes, I think I'm getting high"._

A noise at the door makes us both turn, their they were Jacob and Seth, and like the boys they were they were peeling off their clothes.

"_I'm Jacob Black and I think I'm one hot piece of ass"_

_"I'm the Loch Ness Monster and I would like to bite that hot ass"_

_"Oh Nessie you're so..so.."_

_"-dangerous, oh I know, now take me now before my freak Aunt hears of our plans!" _ Leah pretends to swoon, making the pair of us cackle like hyenas.

_"Are you two quite finished?"_

_"Nope"_

_"Not even close oh fearless leader" _I snap trotting over to the boys with Leah I personally thought we were pretty freaking hilarious.

_"Of course you thought so babe"_

_"Did you just call me babe?"_ I choke, making an odd rumbling noise, I couldn't decided if I liked the sound of that or not.

_"WHY are you here Lily?"_ Jacob interrupts before I could even continue my chat with Seth, he always said the oddest things when we were in wolf form and then when he was cute I couldn't kiss him. I know, so depressing.

_"Em pissed me off by letting loose some of your secrets, so it was either hang out and keep Leah company or chase my tail in the back yard before Charlie got there to freak out"._

_"Fascinating isn't it boys"_

_"Shut your jaw you were contemplating it too!"_ I whine looking at the older girl with what I hope was a glare, it was hard to tell these days what anyone was feeling. Sure I could feel Leah's pain when she thought no one was paying attention, and now I felt just giddiness from Jacob and apprehension but no one _talked _about the feelings they were having.

_"What are you made at me for now"_ Jacob asks annoyed, stressing the last word.

Jerk.

_"You more or less told Bella about everything last year and didn't even give me a freaking clue, that's what I'm pissed about your a horrible friend I hope that little girlfriend of yours kills you in your sleep one day"_ okay I didn't mean the last part but still, he's not very nice and I was rather hurt more then angry now.

_"How about you two just go work things out, I'm sick and tired of listening to this crap, Lils I love you and everything but you two are driving me nuts with your shit"_ Seth snaps angerily, the other three of us snap our heads towards him as he growls taking off into the, _"no disrespect Jake but I think I'm going to run home for awhile clear my head, if you need me send Leah"._ he stresses her name making my heart clench. He didn't want me, I was driving him nuts way to go Lily if there was a way to un-imprint you sure as hell found it.


	6. Gotta Feeling

_"Don't be stupid you can't un-imprint"_ Leah snorts, I growl at her turning my wolf gaze on her, I wasn't being stupid I knew it couldn't happen, I mean if it could I really hope both Quil and Jacob would give up their pedophiliac tendencies.

I groan, now Seth was all angry and bitter I really didn't want to talk things out with Jacob right now. It just wasn't worth it anymore he's been a jerk, I've been a bitch, and I wanted my friend back. Then again I've been wanting him fully back for a year or so now and that never happened.

"_Lily?"_

_"Aw screw this, howl when you need me I'm going to go make sure he doesn't drown himself in the shower or something" _Leah mutters taking off quickly, disappearing in the same spot Seth had just moments prior. I turn away phasing back into a human waiting for Jacob to do the same. So here we stood, nude, I didn't have any clothes with me since I had shredded mine, I feel a light tap on my shoulder as a ling button up appears in my view.

"Here, I think this will be awkward enough without..." Jacob's voice trails off slightly. Without the girls on display? Yeah I guess that makes sense. I pull on the shirt making quick work of the buttons, memories plaguing my mind.

_"Here put this on"_

_"Ew no, this thing sticks like a swamp what did you do? Roll this in dirt before you got dressed this morning" I tease shoving the button up shirt in to Jacob's hands, it didn't smell bad at all, it actually smelled pretty good but he was apparently tired of wearing said shirt over his t-shirt. I think he had been trying to impress Sarah Wakii by dressing up at least thats the impression I got when Billy was teasing him when I met him for school this morning._

_"Come on Lils' I'm getting too hot, and you" he raises and eyebrow looking me up and down, "aren't all that covered up my dear"._

_"Sorry dad" I stress the word, once again throwing the shirt back at him this time it landing over his face making me laugh loudly in the crowded hall._

_"Put it on"_

_"No"_

_"Please"_

_"Noooooo" I sing grabbing the lock to my locker and spinning in the combination with ease. I turn around to gloat only to be grabbed my arms pinned behind my back. "JAAAAKKEEEEE" I whine my arms being pulling through the holes like a toddler, he just grunts fixing the collar quickly buttoning it up, flashing me a satisfied smile._

_"There now you don't look like a hooch"_

_"Jerk" I snap with a grin kicking his shin swiftly grabbing my next classes books and dropping them into his arms, "Here make yourself useful dear". I drawl._

"So I guess we should talk eh?" Jake asks when I turn around thanking my lucky stars that the shirt covered my other areas as well.

"I guess, Seth seems pretty serious on that bit. I rather do this quickly so I can go grovel" I mutter crossing my arms. Jake laughs, yes laughs, scratching the back of his neck a nervous tick he picked up a few years ago.

"I know I was hard on you, hell I know I've been a right jackass-"

"-which is a very large understatement-"

"-are you going to let me talk?" he asks annoyed, raising an eyebrow, another trait he picked up but this one was at an early age, one I had always been jealous of.

I sigh and nod, miming zipping up my mouth and throwing the key out onto the Cullen's lawn. "First" he starts pointing a finger at me, which ticked me off, " I talk, you listen I won't get this out otherwise, so shut up kay?". I grunt again showing I was listening watching him take a deep breath.

"When I left, I was hurting bad. Once again Bella had picked _him_ over me and I didn't think I would ever be able to get over that. I loved her, I really did but then there was you-"

"What did I-" I clap my hand over my mouth seeing his glare, right no talking..

"As I was saying" he glares making me shrug innocently, "then there was you, everyone else knew why I left. The pack knew I was going to be okay because they knew what I was, you didn't though. I knew you'd be worried because you didn't know what was going on, I always try'd to keep my thoughts wolf because I didn't want anyone talking to me, trying to get me home but some how my thoughts would slide to you and I would feel horrible all over again". _Like he should have._

"One night Embry was running a patrol alone it was just him and I, he told me off and boy did he rip me one. I mean the guy didn't know I was listening and all he had to do was show me how upset you were and I felt like shit. He told me how you had came up to him and Quil screaming at them and demanding my whereabouts because you didn't believe I had just taken off without a good reason". I smile at this , that's when I had noticed my anger getting more uncontrollable.

_"HEY DUMB AND DUMBER!" I yell seeing Quil and Embry trying to sneak past my house quickly, they had been successfully dodging me for a few days but I knew they had to pass me to get to Sam's it was only a matter of time before I caught them in the act._

_"Ah Lily-kins, how are you this fine afterno-"_

_"Cut the shit, where's Jake" I interrupt Quil feeling the anger in my body increase with each step I took towards the two, I wasn't believing any of this, 'he needs time, he'll come home when he's ready' crap Billy had been feeding me anymore._

_"Why would we know?" Embry asks trying to look innocent but failing, he had a horrible poker face._

_"I know you two know, I realize you guys keep stuff form me but this is something I don't want to be left in the dark about. Tell me now Embry Call or I will personally make sure you never have children". I threaten standing in front of the both of them. I was mad, I was sad, I just wanted Jake to come home._

_"Lily-"_

_"NOW, WHERE IS JACOB!" I yell feeling my anger boil over, now I was just embarrassing myself I could feel the tears running down my face. God I was pathetic._

_"We don't know Lils, we wish we could tell you that" Quil says quietly his hot hands resting on my shoulders. I sniff back a few tears angrily wiping them away, I look up at my two friends, I had known them for years and I also knew they were both lying._

_"Liers" I laugh weakly, Embry kneeling down making me feel like a toddler as he rubbed a comforting hand up and down my arms._

_"Let's get you out of the rain eh Lils?"_

"I had came back with one thing on my mind _you_. I had a perfect girl at home waiting for me, she was probably pissed beyond belief but I knew you'd forgive me." Jake laughs a bit shaking his head, "I ran back having every intention of running straight to your house after I cleaned up and then I remembered the wedding. I just, I saw her again Lils and I just caved once more. Everything I had tried to forget came rushing back, and it hurt. Of course you phased right after all that and then I felt more like crap. I could help but blame myself I knew that it was Vampires that made us change but I couldn't help but think it was because I left that you changed. I didn't want you to know that I felt that way so I avoided you, that and I didn't want you to know everything that happened with Bella, I wasn't ready to share a mind with you yet".

I shift from leg to leg, this little apology was turning into a long ass monologue and I had to pee..

"Then the first time you see Seth, ugh" he shakes his head, "I was so pissed, I had been hoping that maybe if I let Bella go I would just imprint on you and then bam, you and Seth lock eyes and you're gone. It felt like everything was being taken from me, hell even my own sister was now claimed. Not that I would..you know" he says nervously shaking his head with a grimace, yes incest is always bad good boy. "I just didn't know how to deal with you after that it felt like I had lost my best friend, I convince myself that you were pissed and blamed me so I just acted like you were. Then I found out you used to be in love with me before everything and I had hope for a spilt second before I realized that there was no way it would work. I didn't care though I drove to La Push even though you were already pissed at me, before I realized that it was you that I had passed and not your Mom. I probably _could_ have reacted better instead of blowing up at you but I didn't. After that I just let the anger fester until Ness was born," he sighs slightly making me want to gag, this was a child we were talking about, blah.

"I saw that there was no controlling it this girl was my whole world and I had just yelled at you few days before because of you and Seth. I wanted to apologize I really did but you were pissed still, I would ask Edward to rate your anger level after you left but he was pretty firm on the fact you didn't want to talk so I gave you space. I'm not mature about things like this, and I know you know you aren't either. But hell, I miss you Lils, I need you still, I always will".

I stare at him mouth agape, I probably looked like a fish. I blinked a few times before poking Jake once to make sure it was actually him and not some dream. I had known the guy for 17 years and I couldn't get him to say sorry for eating my Smarties and now I get this? It was seriously amazing, I was waiting for the world to end. Part of me wanted to yell at him a bit, but the other part just wanted to hug him and cry a little.

One guess at which part won.

"Awh I need you too Jake, who else will walk me down the aisle when Seth and I get married?" I joke letting him grab me up into a hug. I was pretty sure the whole Cullen house had listened to our reunion but I didn't care. Jake was done being a jerk and I had my best friend back.

"You really love him don't you?"

I pause, did I? I mean in all aspects I guess I did but I had never told him that..

"Yeah, I guess I do" I decided with a smile, he was everything you would want in a guy, and he was what I needed, what I wanted. I was happier when I was around him, I smiled when I thought about him, or his name was brought up.. was this what love was? What it felt like?

"Okay now your turn" he grins setting me down, it was kind of weird to hug when I was braless and bottomless.

"My turn for what?" I snort attempting to raise an eyebrow, "I did nothing wrong".

"Lilllyyyy" he says in a warning tone, I shrug before turning for the trees, sprinting away with a laugh. It felt good the have him back.

* * *

I take a deep breath pausing outside outside of Seth's door feeling Leah's glare from across the hall. I think she was a little pissed at me for driving her home, Sue wasn't in the best of moods to deal with she had practically dragged me in the house when she saw me pacing outside and told me de-mood her son. I don't know if it was meant to be suggestive or if I just saw it that way.

I knock twice hearing my heart pumping in my ears, I don't know why I was so nervous, I don't think I could even be angry with him it was impossible but he was frustrated I knew that much.

"Go away Mom, I'm not coming down to help bake cookies". he groans a small bite in his voice which made me squirm. I could hear Leah snickering at me now from her room as she got up to close her door which I couldn't decided if it was a good or a bad thing. I take another breath turning the handle walking in quickly and shutting it behind me.

"Mom I just want to be alone" Seth mumbles, I look around his small room briefly noticing him face down on the bed. It was a comfy room, very Seth, books and forgotten homework littered his small desk along with an ancient looking computer that would probably be more useful as spare parts. Everything was wood, looking handmade, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was. His comforter was on the floor along with his sheet and pillow leaving him face down on the bed, his blue sheet wrinkled from movement.

"It's me" I say after a few moments of watching him breath into the mattress, he kept that up he was going to pass out. I kind of expected him to jump up and start beating me or something but he didn't he stayed perfectly still instead which was sort of maddening.

"Seth?" I try again walking closer, this was nerve wracking maybe I should have just went home and thought about what to say first.

"If you came to apologize I don't want to hear it" he mutters softly, my ears picked it up anyways and I frowned. "I'm tired Lily, I'm tired of you fighting this every step of the way". he was facing me now, having gotten up rather quickly in order to stand in front of me.

"Fighting what?"

"Us, Lily!" he all but shouts making me jump back, he was rubbing his face and then his hands through his hair, sighing, muttering, what the hell was he talking about. "Us, you're fighting us! I don't know if its because you can't accept us or what but I can feel it Lils, I can feel it right here". his voice lowers at the last part as he grabs my hands placing them on his chest where I could feel his heart beating.

"I know you can feel it, I know you feel it too. I don't know if it's as strong as what I feel but you feel something. I know you don't want to hurt me Lils, I know you try but I need more from you. I need you to acknowledge this, us".

"Seth you kn-"

"No I don't know Lily" he shakes his head sadly, "you need to tell me how you feel. I can't guess all the time, I can't go by what I feel when we're wolves, I need to hear it, because you know what I feel for you?" he asks rhetorically pulling me down on the bed into his lap, well this was a little weird..

"I love you, I'd do anything for you, I would jump off a building if you asked me too. When I close my eyes you're there, you make me work harder, run faster, you are not the reason I breathe, the reason I live. Normal people don't feel like this at sixteen yet I can't imagine not feeling this way, can't imagine a world where you don't exist. I need you, I need you close by, I need you always".

"Seth I.." I sigh, now getting frustrated myself, sure I could admit I loved him in my head, but out loud to him that was different. He knew I loved him, I know he knows, I had to love him it was impossible for me not to. I take a deep breath before looking up at him resting a calming hand on his cheek making his gaze lock with mine.

"I love you too Seth, more then I can comprehend, more then I could ever begin to try and understand I-"

Okay that was annoying, I growl looking pointedly at his hand, I _try_ and tell him how I feel and he _covers_ my mouth. I glare up at him seeing all his frustration gone, replaced with his dopy, lovable smile. "That's all I wanted to hear".

* * *

"Ah my eyes!"

"LEAH!"

"Aw come-on I just got her shirt off" Seth pouts as I scramble to pull it back down over my torso. Stupid hot werewolf boyfriend. Yes boyfriend.


End file.
